Redemption

What is this human desire to seek forgiveness for our many sins?

Is it not the very act of sinning that makes us human? Does not sin keep us from being the gods we would otherwise surely be?

And yet, we feel it is our destiny to repent, to beg the shattered bowl for its forgiveness for allowing it to shatter on the cold, hard tile of the kitchen floor. Are we not ourselves hurt, too, by such sin? Do we not lose the opportunity to enjoy our spaghetti, should we err in such a manner? Despite the self-inflicted pains that such sins may cause us, we find inflicted on us guilt ten times as strong. And it is this guilt that motivates us, that presses us forward on destiny’s path to become a better person, to create an even superior pasta dish, in the hope that, this time around, we won’t let the dream shatter.

Even, I, a doctor and professor and part-time taxi driver, have found myself racked with the guilt of my many sins. By my very definition, I should bring happiness and joy to others: healing their illnesses, imparting on them knowledge and transporting them from point A to point B. Yet, I have strayed from these noble paths; I have sought out personal reward at the expense of others.

There was a time when after shooting a mysterious person to death, I would seek redemption by giving him back life.

But why have I not redeemed myself for supergluing my misguided moronic neighbor to the wall of my lair? Why have I not made my peace with an attractive Mexican immigrant I so callously committed romanticide against in cold blood?

Perhaps that is what I am doing now; perhaps this new path that I am on is truly a path to redemption. Could it be that every action I take, every thought that comes now into my mind, is simply my subconscious driving me to achieve, to become worthy of, forgiveness?

Then, perhaps we are all on that path, together.

Could it be that behind a senile woman’s sock-thievery exists some greater need to find forgiveness?

Maybe it is the power of redemption that allows an overweight loser to forget the death of a woman far, far out of his league with whom he miraculously had a shot, and instead settle contently with the homely mother of his child.

And, if there truly is a God, then perhaps it is his will to use the need for redemption to lull a pubescent young cheerleader into the throes of lesbianism as her subconscious attempts to reconcile her dismissive mistreatment of her homosexual childhood friend.

If revenge is a dish best served cold, then redemption should surely be served à la mode. We are each a shameful chef in the kitchen of destiny, being driven to serve up meals by the ungrateful patrons of our lives, those we’ve wronged and those who have wronged us. Do we create a world-class cuisine for their enjoyment or simply spit into a plate of cold ziti for ours? Time shall reveal to us all the answer, but perhaps the first step, the pre-heating of redemption’s oven, will start today.

I await in anticipation what our search for redemption has to offer. Will we succeed , finding forgiveness and a better way of life? Or will we fall back into old habits of greed and destruction, turning this Earth into a brutal arena of self-interested gluttonous gladiators?