I wanted to tell y’all about this thing that I just got into. I don’t know exactly how to put it, but I’m a baker! Yeah, ol’ scary boy Knox is makin’ yums yums. Kinda soft n’ sissy like but hey, its relaxin’ as hell!
I kinda ‘walked’ into this whole bakin’ thang. Well, no, I didn’t really ‘walk’ I actually blasted or pushed. I don’t know what you would say for makin’ a door fly 50 feet off its hinges. But that’s really the gist of it.
Mr. P was all like ‘Scary Black man whom I adore!’ N’ I was like ‘Yea Mr. P?!’ N’ he was all ol’ n’ crusty n’ he tol me, ‘Go kill fast white chick n’ her fat cop boyfriend!’
‘Ain’t that fat cop the fat baby head games one n’ only son?’ I asked.
‘Yes he is.’ Mr. P said ‘Now go and Kill my African Prince of Fear!’
So i went all the way to NYC listnin’ to my iTunes Library (all 258 Gigs) on my all new iPhone and then I went to some ol’ run down apartment and BAM! KNOCKED DOWN THAT DOOR!
TWO MISMATCHED WHITE PEOPLE NECKIN’! And then they get all scared (which i like) n’ then they both try n’ act all bad ass on me (which I don’t like).
Listen people, if I am sent to kill you please follow this simple list of rules…
The ‘JUST SHUT UP AND DIE’ List by KNOX.
Rules to make my life and the end of yours much more enjoyable. 🙂
1. SHUT THE HELL UP!
2. Understand that your life is going to end and become afraid.
3. Sing whatever song I tell you to sing, if you do not know the song ask me and I will play a snippet of it off my iPod. Like right now if I were to kill you I’d ask you to sing Manson’s Sweet Dreams are made of This off his Smells Like Children album. It lightens the mood.
4. DO NOT TALK TO ME WITH A BAD SCAR FACE IMPRESSION! it will not save your life, it will make the end of it longer and more, much more, unpleasant.
5. Spiderman’s a hero, BATMAN’S A HERO, hell even Aquaman’s a hero. YOU are not. PLEASE, think about it.
Now normally I don’t smack ah bitch. I don’t. It’s just somethin’ that Knox does not do. But DAMN that woman had it comin’! I said somethin’ like ‘I’m here to kill you.’ or somethin’ else all scary like I always do n’ the girl has to run past me! I mean, Come on! I coulda taken down Mike Tyson in his prime right then and she thinks she can just run right on by?!
Okay, I closelined the girl. I felt sorta bad but like I said, she had it comin’ an after she droped to the floor I was givin’ my new carear in life! It was after that bleach blond mop hit the hardwood top that I became a baker! THATS RIGHT! I MADE MY FIRST DOUGHNUT! and it was outa ah cop!
How you like that?! HA! I call it ‘copohnut’ ! It’s a workin’ title. Here’s the ingreadeants…
1 300lb. cop
1/2 cup of fear
2oz. snide remarks
Add those togeather in a small, cramped, dirty as hell apartment and PUNCH A HOLE through the cops stomach.
There ya go, Copohnut! HA! I love me some copohnut! The only problem is cleaning up the mess…
Me? I just leave it for someone else.
Adios-knox.
You know this incident in which you clothes-lined me means I have to remove you from my Christmas Card list right?
Dude, so you KNOW how many calories people have in them? You’re gonna have to use a cop substitute if you really want alot of customers.
Do you have any recipes for peoplesicles I can borrow? 🙂