Dear Diary

Dear Online Diary that Everyone and Their Dog’s Florist Can Read,

I have a confession to make. One I am not sure if I can tell to anyone else, as they could never understand the passions of a woman my age. I can only confess here, in this safe bastion of privacy. Those who know me forget that underneath this cold blooded, soulless exterior, lies the beating heart of a woman who hasn’t tapped that ass in about 41 years. I mean, yes, Arthur has screwed me, but never with a single red rose or a proper continental breakfast the morning afterwards. I am a woman! I have needs!

So I turn to my inner most fantasies to survive and get me through the lonely nights while I lay to rest in my cold, four poster, canopy bed. There is only one man who can turn my head and make my bitter heart go thumpity thump….

Look at him! Look at that perfectly smooth, bald head. See his come hither look? Notice his extravagant “timepiece”? He’s wearing an actual camel hair blazer! I know, deep in his soul, he knows what pret a porter vs couture is, yet he is still a man’s man. Delectable! How could anyone reist the charms of such a fine Haitian fantasy?

He smells good. He speaks French. That accent! Oui j’taime! I could go on and on, but I’ll spare the poor souls who are nosey enough to read my dirty little secret, and myself from going through the mental anguish of lusting over a man that I cannot have.

Since he can turn off my charming powers of suggestion at the drop of a dime, I can only hope that one day he sees me for the cougar that I am. Perhaps by then he will have created a voodoo doll in my honor and makes his OWN suggestions. A girl can only dream prophetic dreams that will never come true only so often.

Perhaps one day I will throw caution to the wind and grab his perfectly toned ass anyway. But for now, I admire from afar, and die a little on the inside each time he gives Bennet those bedroom eyes instead of me.

Damned to be Forlorn for All Eternity,
Or until one of my children pick me off…
Dame Angela Petrelli