Atfer a raelly long spirit wlak and spirit filght, I finally arrvied back in the good UA of S. It was a crazy jrouney, but one taht gave me a new prupose in life: romacning a speedy gril.
Meet Matt Prakman, the love detetcive.
My new copmanion, Trutle, jioned me.
“Hihg five, Trutle!” I siad to him once we arrvied.
He jsut sat there sliently. He was porbably still uspet abuot teh shell cavity saerch.
I wraned him taht the truban was a bit much. It was bad enuogh taht he had a foriegn-suonding name like Trutle.
“I need yuo to cheer pu, Trutle,” I siad to him as I galnced aruond fro my futrue love, Dahpen. “Yuo’re my wnigman on tihs.”
He seemed cofnused.
I epxlianed, “Yuor job is to ditsract her fat freind. Or tlak me up. Barg abuot me to her. I cna’t barg abuot msyelf. Tell her abuot how graet I am whit Molly or smoething….”
Adn tehn I saw hre! She was even more bauetiful tahn in my prohpetic draems.
“Dno’t run, Dahpen!” I called uot to my new love. “I’m not a stakler. Adn the obseity is jsut form the jet lag.”
She stood speehcless staring at me adn my freind.
“I’m here to lvoe yuo,” I cotnineud, “adn save yuo form dying.”
I cuold sense taht I was abuot to carsh and brun, so I called in ym wnigman. I puhsed Trutle closer to hre and wihspered to him, “Put in a good wrod fro me.”
I dno’t know waht Trutle siad to her, btu it raelly did the tirck. She aksed me uot on a date rihgt tehn and there! I even got hre nubmer by teh end of it.
Trutle, yuo’re the best wnigman a guy cuold ever aks fro!
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By teh way, be srue to sned in yuor photo catpions for teh cotnest:
https://www.burnttoastdiner.com/2008/10/400th-post-photo-caption-contest.html
Dude, the stalker boyfriend thing never works. Or not very well at least. You totally need a new tactic.
You have inexplicable dreams of the future too? We should start a club.
Is the turtle available for contract positions?