I made it to the final two, as I knew would happen. Unfortunately, the jury gets to vote for the winner, and, well, I haven’t exactly been the most diplomatic player. I stole Adam’s blood. I pelted Nathan with strawberries. I made Maya cry (but who hasn’t?) But I did save West’s life after he was bitten by Richard Simmons…so that’s one vote. And that’s a start.
The competition: Audrey Hanson. She’s in the FBI, the CIA’s retarded little brother that always stays inside the house. Maybe he has light sensitivities, but that’s not the point. The point is, she’s beatable. But the other point is, I can’t risk losing Sylar. I had to cover all my bases.
So, I arranged a chance meeting with the law enforcement officer. Slipping into my Primatech-issued policeman disguise, I waltzed into the FBI headquarters in LA. She was no doubt checking out the FBI’s dossiers on possible victims for Sylar’s final challenge.
“Psst,” I whispered, walking up beside her in the hallway.
“Bennet. I didn’t expect to see you here. Spying on me?”
“Not at all.” Her accusation had startled me. Everyone knows I would never cheat in this competition. And even if my morals were questionable, I thought she and I shared a fully honest relationship, with a few minor lies. “I came to speak to you,” I said. “It’s important.”
She talked as she walked, seeming busy with some huge murder case or something. “Look, Bennet. I don’t have time to help you with your murder challenge. I’ve got other things on my mind, mainly some huge murder case or something.”
“This concerns your murder case…it’s about apprehending Sylar.” The two of us had talked previously about our missions. I had agreed to assist her in nabbing him, only so that I could then nab him from her and hand him over to Primatech.
“Don’t tell me you’re having second thoughts, Bennet. Be a man, man. You gotta tough it out. Don’t wuss out on me.”
“It’s not that. I assure you, I was made for this kind of action. Paper isn’t as safe as most people think.”
“So, what is it?” she asked with a hard stop. She stared, awaiting my response.
“One of us will win. This is certain. I agreed to help you take down Sylar, and so it seems your mission will be fulfilled, as we’re the last two standing. I suggest it goes down on the night of the consummation.”
“Good thinking. As much as the thought of copulating with a male intrigues me, I feel having a surprise arrest would be of much greater importance.”
“Yes, and I for one, just don’t want to have to do anything nasty with another dude. So, here’s the plan: the loser waits outside the bedroom window as backup while the winner seduces and incapacitates Sylar.”
“Yes. Stalkerish, but I like it.”
“Exactly.”
“Perfect.”
“Good.”
And so, Sylar’s capture is a done deal. Once Audrey helps to subdue Sylar, a quick pistol blast to her head should allow me to sneak our murderous bounty to my office.
Still, I would like the title of Sylar’s Bachelor. So, now it’s time to get to the final challenge….
If you need any advice on effective window-lurking techniques, I’m your go-to guy!
Ha ha ha, you paper guys with your paper humor. I could swear that for a minute there I thought you said something about shooting me in the head.
Wow! You look like you’ve packed on a few pounds, Mr. Glasses! I was so distracted by your hugeness that I didn’t even read your post!
Get to the gym!