Immunity: My New BFFs!

Well guys, I’ve finally got some friends, and many of you have gotten with them, so that means someone will be my lover! So how did you all do?

Audrey Hanson, you went through quite the effort to find me a friend! Too bad you shot Weird Harold, that guy seemed awesome! We coulda humped each other’s legs all day and night! But the friend you got for me is pretty neat! Good thing his “Team” doesn’t like to take on insane serial killers lol!

West, your crazy muscular German guy was an interesting friend! But German people scare me. They’re mass murderers! That’s too much for a lil Sylar. His nude body made up for it, though. I stared at his hot chest all day!

Mr. Glasses! You got me a friend who stabbed me! Twice! I mean, Disney was fun and all, ‘n I liked our cute picture with Mickey, but that lil Japanese tourist stabbed me for the second time! But at least we got to bond a little! And the dress was very sexy!

Nathan Petrelli, your nerd friends were interesting! I mean, after all, I used to be a nerd, no matter how hard I tried to be sexy! It wasn’t until I got on the brain-eating diet that my sexiness shined through. One of them was really sexy, and the pointy earred one…well, let’s just say if they make a movie about him I think I could fill that role!

Maya, your friend met me, kissed my hand, then offered his brain to me! Needless to say, I was powerless to resist. He was a good friend for the 5 seconds I knew him, but then he was dead, and that made me sad. But he was a good friend while I knew him.

Adam, you gave me a good combo of friends to choose from. Mohindy satisfied my never-ending lust (God I missed his nonsensical babbling lol), and the team of evil was great too! Such carnage and destruction! And we were floating in the middle of it!

Cyclops, you gave me a girlfriend who I could talk about boys all night with. Someone who we could call Ryan Phillipe, say “You’re cute!” and then hang up giggling! But wait, I’m bisexual now, and she’s stuck on slut-mode! My lust may get the best of me!

Well, I’ve like, got many candidates for friends. Some who will become objects of my lust, and some who will be eaten for lunch lol, but only one who will be my new BFF! And who that is will be Murdock! Which means that Audrey Hanson gets my Heart Crown of Immunity!

Murdock is like, the most intellectual man I’ve ever known! I’ve never heard anyone say anything as profound as “I”m cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs!” since that philosopher cartoon bird said it! And he has a hat on, one that makes me forget about my need for brains (hats taste yucky). And he has a hot black friend that we get to hang out with! We’ll be the bestest of friends.

So, now, I have a friend, Audrey has immunity, and you guys have to vote! Email in those votes by Monday at midnight to decide who will be next to be eliminated! OMG!