OMG guys! This is so sad! I have to say goodbye to two of you again! I hate goodbyes! They make me cry! Almost as much as I cry when someone calls me manly! And that’s a lot!
But I have to say my goodbyes! So first of all, one of you didn’t party hardy! Hehe, I rhymed! I’m like that treacherous Peter! Wait a minute…is this foreshadowing? Maybe! I never knew I could do such things lol! Anyways, someone was out shagging ladies instead of sexy men like me! And that enrages me and makes me want to kill him! Luckily for him, for some reason, I haven’t been killing peeps. Don’t ask me why, either, I’ll just call it great storytelling lol.
So, for not posting, Nathan is eliminated! So, I use my power to make-people-not-sexy-temporarily on you! It’s the only way I can let you go! I can’t see that sexy body leave otherwise! So go, ugly Nathan, go! Before your sexiness returns and I either jump you or kill you out of fairness to the other contestants!
Now, for the one voted off. This one saddens me, too, because he was like, the evilest person in the competition, and that’s like a perfect match for me! But I guess the contestants couldn’t handle the villainy. One insane mass-murderer is enough for them I guess lol. So, Adam Monroe, you are eliminated from the competition!
I send you back to your coffin, but this time, with a laptop with Wifi, so you can follow the rest of the competition lol! I know, I’m so merciful!
Well, now only four remain! It’s time for me to test your real worth! Are you a sexy boy band member? Or a lame gay fitness guy with an unsexy afro (more foreshadowing, lol!)? Read below for your next epic challenge!
NooooOOOOOooo!
Wow, I sure am glad that I wasn’t trapped under the earth in a coffin with only a laptop with wifi. I mean, sure having the laptop is a nice way to keep up with what’s going on and all, but I bet that coffin’ll smell in about two days.
Not to mention the metaphorical feces of his life that will pile up and fill his coffin within months. Oh wait…they’re not metaphorical…they’re literal.