Challenge the Fifth: In Which West Finds a Friend

I figured that the best way to win this challenge would be to find a friend that has a hobby in common with Sylar. Agent Hanson covered the serial killer aspect already, so I decided to find Sylar a watchmaker for a friend. I flew to Switzerland, where the best watchmakers in the world live.

Now, let me let you in on a little secret: watchmakers kinda scare me. I mean, what’s the difference between a watch and a robot, right? Think about it, all those little cogs perform the same actions day in and day out, just like a robot does what it’s programmed to do. It gives me the shivers. But hey, maybe if Sylar wants to be the most special person in the world, he could kill all the other watchmakers, and then I wouldn’t have to be afraid anymore! Yay! I flew on with greater resolve.

The problem with flying, though, is that you don’t always know where you’re going. Switzerland is a small place, and when you’re flying thousands of feet above the air the world doesn’t look like the borders of a map. I landed somewhere in the mountains, where funnily-dressed people were speaking German. If there’s anything worse than a robot, it’s a German robot. I walked through the mountain village, shouting “DOES. ANYBODY. HERE. SPEAK. ANY. ENGLISH?”

“I do,” someone said. I turned around. “My name’s Traveler,” he said, “and I can speak any language in the world. I see by the scar on your neck that you must have some special talent as well. Do you know Hana Gitleman?”

“Uh, we post on the same blog,” I said. People can be so racist sometimes, you know? Apparently, because I’m a mutant, I must know every other mutant in the entire world, right? Anyway, I saw potential in this guy, and I thought if I brought him back to the mansion with me I wouldn’t have to hunt down any watchmakers after all.

“Hey, weren’t you in that boy band that did covers of t.A.T.u songs? And had those guys from the Disney Channel? You’re bigger superstars in Germany than David Hasslehoff! Could you get me Hannah Montana’s autograph? Underage Russian prostitutes love Hannah Montana.”

“So, what are you doing here?” I asked, changing the subject. “Are you on some super-secret mission for Hana or something?”

“Naw man, I got done with that weeks ago. I’m hitchhiking to Berlin now, wanna check out the club scene. How about you?”

“I’m a contestant on a reality show.”

“Amazing Race?”

“No, Sylar’s Bachelor.”