OMG guys, the final four remain! Well, you’ve proved your sexiness, and your sexy dateability, but now we need to see how you’d make as a real significant other! Sometimes, between being sexy and telling me I’m not fat, my sig others will have to defend my honor! I know, I know, I’m an insane serial killer with powers to chop off skulls and eat brains, but still! Sometimes, I’m in emotional crisis and in no mood for murder! That’s where you come in! You need to fight my battles for me when I’m on man PMS!
So, it’s time to test how you all can do in a battle with my enemies! I’ve sent them all letters to get them to the desert. One says, “The cure for your brother’s gunshot wound is found in the desert. Like, go get it!” A second says, “30 naked men wait for you in the desert. Like, go get them!” A third says, “There’s a nuclear bomb, biological weapon, and a Presidential assassination attempt going on in the desert. Like, go get them!” And the last one says, “There are bad singers for you to make fun of. Like, go get them!”
And that brought together the Axis of Sylar-Haters.
Peter Petrelli, blower up of skies and politicians. He and his crazy Asian friend tried to kill me, when I was trying to stop the blowing up! Oh, and not to mention we’ve had two battles filled with plot holes and nonsense things!
Richard Simmons, trying to outdo me for the gayest person in the world! Well I won’t have it! I won’t let someone as unsexy as he have that title!
Jack Bauer, stopper of evil. Well, he’s the ultimate good guy, and I don’t like good guys! Especially not ultimate ones!
Simon Cowell, my arch-nemisis! If you’ve read my blog, you’d know that Simon is the murderer of my friend, Urkel, and we’ve had many battles trying to stop each other! Simon has the power to become Voltron Simon, and is very dangerous! Almost as dangerous as telekinesis using school girls, but not quite!
So, your challenge is this: the four of you are to go out to the desert and stop their villainy! But don’t kill them! Leave them for me! They have unimportant henchman too, if you want to kill peeps, kill them! So, go fourth, and defend my honor! Good luck!
I like them odds!
Richard Simmons is toast!