Adam Monroe & Company

It was 5 o’clock in the evening when Hiro dropped by for a visit. It was a most inconvenient time—I was in bed with the downstairs maid.

“Is that cotton candy?” I asked him, indicating the pink tuft of spun sugar commonly seen at fairgrounds.

“It’s been 5 weeks,” said Hiro. “You have not yet completed your mission.”

“Yeah, about that. It’s not as easy as you would think to seduce this guy. Just give me more time.”

“Remember,” said Hiro, “3 month freedom if you succeed. But if not…you will stay in box forever.”

With a push of his glasses and a constipated squint, the source of my bitterness and sexual frustration disappeared. I contemplated an evil plot to kill what was left of his family, but I had more important things on my mind.

Finding a friend for Sylar.

I never had much to do with “friends” myself, when they’re not betraying you or taking what is most important in your life they’re usually whinging to you about their problems. I consider myself a lone operator, with a few easily manipulated, shall we call them, “disciples.”

Peter Petrelli was my most recent lackey. It wouldn’t be too hard to convince him that Sylar and I were on the side of good…On the other hand, he’s a bit volatile.

Mohinder Suresh makes a much better lackey, though sadly without powers. I lured him along under false pretenses and nonsensical monologues.

“Mohinder,” growled Sylar sexily, upon first sight.

“So you know each other,” I said, as Mohinder gulped and looked pretty. “Good. No need to introduce you two then.”

Now to find some friends who are on equal footing with Sylar. It wasn’t too hard to pick up a couple former acquaintances.

“Sylar,” I said, looking up and down his sexy body, “meet The Master.”

The Master may have been a bit miffed at me at first, considering I tried to kill him the last time we met, but I assured him it was nothing personal. The Master never dies, after all. However, Sylar was still staring at Mohinder. I really didn’t want Mohinder to be killed or romanced just yet, so I attempted to direct Sylar’s attention toward his other new friends.

My second nefarious colleague was a man who hails from a mysterious island.

“This is Ben,” I said. I convinced him that if he accompanied me in Sylar’s Bachelor, I would sit through one of his dinners with wine and ham and listen to him obsess over his creepy stalker-y crush. What a nerdy little psychopath! I was sure Sylar would appreciate him.

With these 2 able villains in tow, I thought I’d introduce someone whose brains wouldn’t be an issue in any relationship with Sylar.

A highly intelligent and efficient killer robot, she’s also quite good at manicures and makeup. I’m sure the Connors won’t miss her for a couple days.

And as for my final choice…

Oh yes I did (is that what kids say these days?). I called upon the Brain.

“What’s his power?” Sylar eyed him hungrily.

“Oh, I don’t think he has one. But aren’t you curious all the same?”

The Brain looked at us suspiciously.

Now, I realized a couple characters in my crew might be a bit much for some of my fellow contestants to handle. So that’s why I locked Flyboy West in a bathroom as soon as he was finished with the challenge.

I took us all down to the local high school, where Spirit Day was well under way.

“Now it’s time for a little fun,” I told my comrades, and together we joined the cheer.

The Master was zapping people left and right, to The Sound of Music. Ben was poisoning various honor students with experimental substances. Cameron was creating carnage in the cheerleading area. Meanwhile, Sylar and I walked through the chaos together, munching on kettle corn.

“Oh look!” I said, pointing at The Brain, who was busy gnawing at the bleachers.

“What would happen if I ate his brain?” Asked Sylar.

“I don’t know. But wouldn’t you like to find out?’

“Traitor!” said The Brain. “You only brought me here to be killed? Curses on you!” Then he ran away.

“Set the mousetrap,” I said, bored. It was almost time to be getting back.

However, I must admit, it had been a little fun.