Adam Monroe Accepts Challenge #6: Partying Like It’s 1894

“I’m a party animal,” I said to myself as I entered the backyard. “I’m a party animal.”

Actually, my game plan was to outlast all the contestants who were sure to get drunk and fall over unconscious (helped along by me, of course), then move in for the kill. That is, spend some quality time with Sylar.

It was early in the party, and I didn’t see him right away, so I wandered over to the nearest keg for a drink. See, my plan’s foolproof because of the immunity to the effects of alcohol I’ve developed over the years. I could drink, like, 5 gallons of beer, which is exactly what I planned to do, and not get drunk.

“Hey, Adam!” Said West excitedly from under the table.

“Hey,” I said, “Aren’t you underage?”

“Yeah,” said West.

“See you,” I said, then stumbled over to the next keg.

“Dude, dig these smoke machines,” said Cyclops drunkenly. “Oh, hi, Adam. You’re so pretty. Let’s dance.”

He grabbed my hand and almost fell over, giggling madly.

“I have a better idea,” I said, whispering in his ear. “You know what I’d like to do to you right now?”

“What? What.” He repeated to himself, smiling as I dragged him up the stairs and locked him in the bedroom.

“Now be a good boy and wait for me there,” I called at him from the other side of the door.

I noticed I was losing control over my own basic locomotive functions. That was odd, so I practiced walking over to some very pretty maids standing around in the hallway for some assistance. They were quite happy to give it to me, at least that was my impression.

Just then, Bennet came over for no reason other than to start a fight.

“Your mom is so ugly she was arrested for indecent exposure,” he told me, stapling something onto my jacket.

“Hey,” I said, “That is an expensive jacket.” He pushed me. I couldn’t have that.

“You’ll be sorry for this,” I warned him, and as I ran toward him, not even attempting to kill him or rip out his lungs or anything, he grabbed me and pushed me off the railing to the first floor. It was very unfair. The Bennets, I tell you, are a very feisty clan.

Luckily for me, I never forget a face, so of course I’ll get him in the end.

In any case, I was better off–if it wasn’t for hitting the ground, I wouldn’t have lifted my eyes to see the most beautiful sight of the evening.

It was time to enter the hot tub. I dressed down to my swimsuit and waded over to Sylar.

“Nice party you’ve got here,” I said.

“Lol, like thanks,” he giggled. “Want some brain?”

“I’m afraid not,” I replied. “I’ve got everything I want right here.” Then I leaned over and began whispering sweet nothings in his ear. Who could resist me?

Unfortunately, I was interrupted by a drunken partygoer who had the misfortune to throw up right there in the hot tub. I became uncharacteristically bellicose and killed him on the spot, which led to a full out brawl. When all this is over, I’ll have to apologize to Sylar for the body count.

What a night…I spent the rest of it either hitting on people or killing them, between the two I was very busy indeed. The next morning I awoke with the worst headache I’ve had in centuries, but I can only imagine how bad it would have been if I wasn’t immune to alcohol.