Hello all. I hope I’m not too late to the party, it took me a lot of digging and clawing and scheming and cajoling just to make it here in a luxury sedan. You see, after my exhausting but fruitful escape from my underground prison I was immediately tackled by a grizzled old gravedigger. The alarm was soon roused and I barely escaped the mob with my life. Hiro Nakamura caught up with me not too long after.
“Hiro Nakamura,” I said in a dignified way, attempting to straighten out my shirtsleeves. “We meet again.”
“So we do. And I yet again have the advantage,” he replied grimly. It was true. I was still tied to the stake. “But, for now I simply want to talk.”
I could tell from his Very Serious face (slightly more relaxed than his Constipation/Teleportation Face) that he had something very serious to discuss.
“Spit it out, Hiro, I haven’t got all day,” I told him. Well, that wasn’t true, but I was starting to wonder if listening to Hiro was more dull than lying in an airtight box.
“Kensei,” he started, “I have something very serious to say…”
“Great. Does it have anything to do with letting me go?”
“Yes. But under one condition.”
“Name it.”
“His name is Sylar. I once thought he was dead, but I find out from Ando he is not. He kills people and take their brains, like he take the brains of my old girlfriend Charlie, who…”
“Ok I don’t really care about that,” I interrupted. “What do I have to do?”
“There is a bachelor party, only hottest and sexiest can join.”
“I see. That’s why you need me.”
“You must enter this bachelor party and win the heart, or at least the bed, of the host.”
“Wait, so are you saying I have to sell myself for my freedom?”
“Yes.”
“Done. So, who do I get to kill? Just this Sylar guy?”
“JUST this Sylar guy,” he warned. “No evil plans. I give you 3 months freedom if you agree, but you make evil plan, I put you in box before you blink.”
“Ok, ok. No evil plans,” I told him placatingly.
“Yatta,” he said, satisfied, and teleported away.
So here I am, at the bachelor party Sylar is apparently hosting. There are some pretty hot birds here already; my eye is beginning to wander. I recognize Nathan Petrelli, of the enticingly fun Petrelli clan. Over to my right is a man I know as Mr. Bennet, who I believe is from the Company, and… is that Elle Bishop I see at the bar?
Ha, “no evil plans”, who does he think he’s kidding? This is going to be fun.
Would like a cookie?
chased by an angry grave digger
if that doesn’t bring back memories
For the record, I never supported your confinement.
I may have to score with you later…
I mean settle a score with you later. You know, because you used me to get to my baby bro.