Challenge 4: Molly and Sylar’s Mommy!!

Like, ZOMG hurray!! This challenge is, like, SO perfect for me!! (I know I say that, like, EVERY week but it’s true!!) So, like, ANYWAY this challenge is, like, SO perfect for me because I am, like, TOTALLY a momma’s girl!!! Mommy Matt and I always have Saturday night girls’ nights together where we paint our nails together and watch chick flicks and bake brownies and giggle and have a downright good girly time! Like, LOL!

Um, like I WOULD say, I knew I was gonna totally, like, ACE this challenge because adults, like, LOVE me!! But I’m NOT gonna say that because I don’t want to, like, jinx myself!! Like, LOL!! So I totally got dressed up in my bestest outfit and went to dinner with Sylar’s mommy!!

Okay, I have to admit, Sylar’s mommy’s dead body, like, TOTALLY creeped me out for a minute, but I totally got over it a second later!! In fact, I found it kind of hot!! (TOTALLY not as hot as you, Sylar, of course!! Like, totally!)

“Like, hey, Sylar’s mommy!” I exclaimed excitedly. “I brought brownies!” I grabbed the pointer on the Ouija board (those are so fun!) to hear her response. Her, like, ghosty spirit spelled out I’M DIABETIC. Oops. This was, like, SO not good!!

“Uh, they’re sugar free,” I lied quickly. Like, who cares?? She’s already dead!!

I snapped my fingers and Smithers, the butler my REAL daddy (not Daddy Mohinder) hired before Sylar sexily murdered him (like, thanks, Sylar!! He always made me go to bed before American Idol came on), brought in our meal – chicken with salad!! Simple but, like, delicious!! I knew Sylar’s mommy would love it!!

“So, Sylar’s Mommy,” I began, pouring half a bottle of ranch dressing on my salad and shoving a huge forkful of chicken into my mouth! “I’ll call you SM for short, since Sylar’s Mommy is WAY to long for me to remember!! Like, LOL!” I picked up the pointer, and SM spelled LOL!! Like, she had a sense of humor!! I was winning her over already!!

“How do you like the chicken?” I asked. IT’S FINE, she said. SMITHERS IS PRETTY HOT. “Not as hot as Sylar!” I exclaimed as Smithers stroked his mustache. “NO ONE is as hot as Sylar!!” THAT’S TRUE, SM spelled. “I’m glad we agree on something.”

It continued on like this for a little bit.

“So,” I said once we were almost done with our chicken. “I’m a momma’s girl, too. Just like your sexy Sylar!” I went on to tell her ALL about my Saturday night merrymakings with Mommy Matt!!

THAT’S CUTE, she said when I was done.

Suddenly I realized that I might be sounding too, like, selfelfish!! (Uh…selfish?? Whatev!) So I quickly asked her to tell me about her sexy times with sexy Sylar before sexy Sylar sexily…you know, murdered her!! I waited patiently while SM went on to tell me all about her sexy endeavors with sexy Sylar!! It was, like, SO sexy, except I got stuck on a couple of words!! Once she spelled out…

SYLAR

“Sih,” I began. “Sih-sih-sihla. That can’t be right. Sih…sy! Sy…Lar. Sylar. Sylar!! Sylar!! Uh, right. Whatev!! I TOTALLY knew that!”

Next we had the brownies. Since she’s a corpse, the sugar didn’t affect her diabeticness at all!! Like, yay!! I THINK she liked them…

“Like, this was a great meal, Sylar’s Mommy!” I said to finish up. “I had a totally sexy time!! You’re like, SO AWESOME!!” I KNOW, she spelled. YOU’RE NOT TOO BAD YOURSELF. JUST DON’T DO ANYTHING ILLEGAL, OKAY?

“Like, okay!!” I exclaimed happily and sexily, always glad for motherly advice!! (Seeing as, you know, my own mother is kind of a male.) “Like, bye, Sylar’s Mommy!! Again, I had a totally sexy time!!

GOODBYE, she spelled. AND GOOD LUCK.

“Like, thanks, Sylar’s Mommy!” I exclaimed. “Good luck in the afterlife!” With that, I was gone with one last sexy wave to Sylar’s mommy!!

Before I encountered Sylar again, I picked up a fresh patch of brain chocolates as a gift for Sylar! As Mommy Matt once told me…the key to Sylar’s heart is through her stomach!! Er…his.