Waffles…Just as sweet as Claire

I’ve been feeling so good lately that I took a flight to celebrate, and I just found this awesome diner where I can eat the world’s best waffles and blog about my life, so all the other aliens out there can know what’s up.

So what’s got me on cloud nine? Well, there’s this new girl at school, Claire Butler, who I’m totally falling for. Yeah, she’s a robot, but she’s a hot robot, like one of those killer anime chicks.

She’s special, too, so it’s, like, our destiny to be together and pass our genes on to the next generation of unbreakable, flying spawn! She may try to hide it, but you can’t get anything past my alien intellect! She’s just too interesting to leave alone, so I’m outside her window day and night. Last time I let her catch me at it. She hacked off her pinkie toe, man, and since she grew another one I figured I could take the old one to add to my Claire shrine. So I distracted her by leaving a copy of Activating Evolution on her driveway, then flew in through her living room window to steal the toe while she was looking the other way.

So now that I’ve got her pinkie toe and her Nissan Rogue, I figure I could combine her genetic material with some machine parts and create the ultimate weapon…Mecha Claire!

Now how’s that for a robot.