I can’t believe that I am saying this but I want to go back to Texas. I HATE it here in California. Back in Odessa, I was a star. Mommy couldn’t take me outside without someone stopping her and wanting to take a picture of me. I was in several commercials and print ads. I had the world by my Gucci collar.
Here, No one knows who I am. I can’t use my audition reel because we have “taken” a new last name. Mommy can’t tell anyone about all my awards. I have to start all over. Do you realized how long I have worked to have a wonderful resume? It’s not fair!!!
The papering spas suck here. In Texas, I am used to walking into my spa place and having everyone staring at me. Here, No ones care if I walk in the door or not. Mommy took me to this place called “Pet Palace”. It was right next store to a Pet Smart. We walk in and this ugly goth guy greets us.
“Hello, Welcome to Pet Palace. I am Purple. What can I do for you?”
“Well, Mr. Muggle would like the full treatment. Muggles would like Paul Mitchell’s Shampoo for pets.” Mommy said
“Sorry, we don’t have that” Purple Blob replied
“OK, how about Spa Dog or Buddy Wash’s Lander and Mint ?” Mommy asked
“Look, all we have is our Pet Palace Shampoo” Blob said.
Mommy looked at me and said “Well, we don’t have much of a choice Muggles, Sadly our money is real tight. Father is not making the money we was at Primatech. This is the best we can do”
“Woof Woof” (Hell No!) I said
It was the worse spa ever!! It tops the last bad spa. I now smell like one of those cheap ghetto dog. Blob didn’t even use conditioner on me. My fur sticks up like I put my tongue in an outlet. Thank you very much, Pet Palace. Hope you burn down!!!
I am so depressed that I been eating all my food and all the human food. Just the other day, I saw a pet show on TV. I just wanted to craw into a hole. Other than eat, I sit around and watch videos on YouTube. I don’t know what to do. I am so sad. I think I have gain some weight too. Who cares.
I better get going. I see Claire’s stalker looking though the window. Should I call the cops?
Our lives both suck now don’t We’ve taken a nose dive in class. The only guys I can date is my stalker. Be nice to him, by the way.
Whoa, Claire, your dog can blog?
Hmm…that gives me an idea…
Poor Mr. Muggles. That bites, and not in a good way. I just hope you don’t catch kennel cough! A friend’s Pug got sent to a place like what you described and came back sick. He got over it.
At the risk of bugging you, being a champion showdog, you ever meet any Pugs on the circuit? Are they all that dumb or is it just the ones I’ve met?
Mr. Muggles-use the stalker to your advantage!
Have him fly you to a great spa and get him to pay. Do you think Claire wants you to be unhappy? If he pays, he impresses her,get it?
my soon to be ex wife is right about that muggles…Also, I <3 you for that spice girl video. I almost forgot about the souless pit of pain that is the result of Pete's death... *choke...*sob..