Like OMG, this has been the most boring three months at this new house. I have been going crazy here! It took forever for them to get the Dish Network on. I was serous like going though E!, VH1, MTV, BET, Style Network, Bravo, WE, Telemundo, Univision,Lifetime, and Animal Planet withdrawals. Sadly, I had to keep myself entertained by trying to destroy the unused boxes. That’s how you know you are bored. After destroying most of the boxes, I moved to chewing on father’s shoe laces. I figure, hey maybe someone will get the message. I only made it though two pair before he caught me and “disciplined” me.
“Leave my shoe laces alone!” he yelled.
“Are you crazy? There’s nothing to do in this place!” I barked back.
He picked me up and put me in the closet, completely ignoring my side of the story. I swear, sometimes it’s like these people don’t even speak Dog.
Finally, Father allowed us to have Internet again, but he frowns upon anything that says where we are now. He gave Claire and Lyle some long speech about the dangers of myspace, IM, Dating, Facebook, and other After School Special topics.
“Now, Claire, don’t use MySpace because you’ll be abducted!” He turned to Lyle, “Lyle, don’t use MySpace because Claire will be abducted.”
“What about me??” Lyle asked. “Don’t care if I’m abducted?”
“Come on. Who would want to abduct you?”
I know his real concern was my own safety. I am a champion show dog after all. A JonBenet Ramsey of the canine variety.
After the speech, he gave them new cell phone numbers. Then after giving the new numbers, he quickly deactivated the phones and got newer numbers. “You can never be too safe,” he said. Then he started again about not telling anyone anything.
“Gah! We get it. Hiding. Secret. Danger.” I barked. Even a mildly-retarded person, like Mommy, could understand his point.
Speaking of Mommy, she is supposed to take me out to see if I can get an agent. With all my awards, I would make a perfect actor/model here. I am so excited! Maybe my luck will change here.
Wish me luck,
The future star, Mr. Muggles
I bet the USA Network is your favorite channel. They always have the dog shows on there!
=)
I thought of you the other day. They had this dogshow on and I thought you would have floored the competition. Don’t get me wrong, they were cute and talented, but not at your caliber.
I love you two girls.