I read this op-ed in the New York Times this week. It says that we could counteract the effects of global warming by pumping sulfate particles in the stratosphere. It gave me a brilliant idea: I could fly up to the stratosphere in my spare time and seed the stratosphere with these sulfate particles. Then the polar bears will be saved from extinction, and would be so grateful that they would do anything I trained them to do. I could lead a polar bear army to the man in the horn-rimmed glasses and sic ’em on him! Their white fur will be dyed red with his blood, and all will live in fear of West, the flying alien boy, benevolent god of polar bears! I could give Claire a polar bear cub as a present, which is way better than the teddy bear that she sleeps with. She could be my polar bear queen.
Message from the Chef
Now may be your last chance to participate in the Photo Caption Contest! We’ve got some great responses so far. Can you outdo any of them? Give it a shot. Comment your captions to this post:
https://www.burnttoastdiner.com/2007/10/photo-caption-contest.html
Oh! I love polar bears! How cute!
And I’m all for the enviroment, but I really think you just leave the hornrimmed glasses man alone. He’s very busy and hasn’t been very patient lately… As far I know. Which is nothing…
You have a lot of time on your hands, don’t you?
Of course I have a lot of time on my hands! I’m too smart for the BS they try and spoon-feed us at school, so I don’t worry about homework, and only robots go out for sports. What else am I supposed to do in my spare time? Smoke weed and drive my Nissan in circles?
And terrorize drunk cheerleaders…
Young man, leave those Polar Bears alone. You do not know where they have been!