The time is now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Company must be stopped! We may even save the man in horn-rimmed glasses, if there’s time!
I have word about a conspiracy that spans to alien worlds, including California!
What is this grand conspiracy? Last Gladiator Standing 2!!!!!
My sources tell me that Primatech Paper Company is sponsoring Mr. Bennet in this competition. They’re forcing him to compete on their behalf and claim the ultimate prize for The Company!!!
Luckily for us, Bennet never misses an opportunity to lie and deceive! He has communicated to me via a secure internet connection and secret code, “The waffle is on the iron,” that he will get the prize to keep it out of the hands of The Company. He has reason to believe that The Company has more contestants in the competition than him!! So, we need to hope and pray that he wins!!!
I don’t know what the prize is, but if The Company wants it, it must be important! We have to stop them!!
This is why I’m calling you all to show your support of Mr. Bennet in the competition. Despite his 50’s style CIA glasses, he’s on our side now!!! If he wins, we win! Do whatever it takes!! Throw rocks at the competition if you have to!
In other news, Chex Mix will kill you and rape your grandmother!!!
Stay alert! Run!!! And never forget to lock your doors, even if you’re just going to be gone for a few minutes, perhaps to walk to a nearby store and purchase a pack of conspiracy sticks, or cigarettes as you know them!!