A Professor’s Poetic Ponderings

Greeting, fellow humans. It is indeed I, Mohinder Suresh. You may refer to me as “Doctor Mohinder Suresh”. Though I have a degree in genetics, it would seem I am also a doctor of poetry. And it is my reluctant privilege to introduce our next, and final, set of poems and poets.

First off, a poem about something deeply profound, from a man self-proclaimed to be profoundly deep:

I Find Myself

by Nathan “Vote for Me” Petrelli

When day breaks on a rainy morning, I find myself cheered
By your eyes—dark and penetrating.
When day breaks on a lonely heart, I find myself reminded
Of your nose—perfect and aristocratic
When day breaks on a ruined campaign, I find myself distracted
By your lips—sensuous and exotic.
When day breaks on a loveless marriage, I find myself captivated
By your jaw line—strong and masculine.
When day breaks on a destroyed city, I find myself encouraged
By your gorgeous face looking back at me from the mirror.
What a perfect time for day to break.

And now a poem from the figurative fig newton on my cookie tray of chocolate chips:

‘Twas the Night Before Tuesday

by My Large Lover

‘Twas the night before Tuesday, when all through the diner
Not a blogger was opining, not even our our whiner;

Mohinder was hung on the ceiling with care,
In hopes that I, Svetlana, soon would be there;

The cat-men were dressed up all tight in their suits,
While the rest of New York all shook in their boots.

My crazy mother called me, as loud as a train,
“WHY YOU NO SAVE MOHINDER? SOMEONE AFTER HIS BRAIN!”

I got off the phone, just as mad as a hatter.
Who could be after Mohinder’s brain matter?

Away to my Datsun I waddled in an hour,
Mohinder needed saving by my very own power!

He must have been hanging like ham on a string
Right where I wanted him trapped, on his ceiling.

Then, in my daydream, which was funny at best
A strange feeling bubbled up deep in my chest.

I dismissed it as heartburn, but that was not true.
It was my love for Mohinder shining through and through!

With pedal to metal I rushed down the street,
Hoping that Mohinder’s brain eater I would meet.

“Now Cheney, now Bushie, and Jesus with stakes,
To Mohinder’s apartment, we must make great haste!
Run away from Nathan and his evil mean mom!
Her personality is comparable to a neutron bomb!”

Vamp Cheney took to the sky like a nurse with wings
Scouting the earth for braineaters and things.

To Mohinder’s apartment we flew and we drove
With a trailer hooked to my bumper for Unicorn Rove.

And then, with a flashlight, we entered his house
With the intent of saving my erstwhile spouse.

“I’ll save you, my love!” with great gusto I shouted.
“But I am anchored to the stucco of destiny…” he pouted.

“Would my father have wanted this?” he asked quite sadly.
“Yes, because you’re destined to be married to me!”

“Why must all of you people punish me so?
I was following my father’s karmic quid pro quo!”

His pleas — how he giggled! He was such a cute lover.
I wondered what he’d look like under the covers.

As if reading my mind, he screamed like a girl,
“My abdominal muscles are convulsing — I’m going to hurl!”

Jesus built a ladder from stakes on his back,
As he began to climb it, the room went pitch black.

“u cant steal him from me!11” cried a voice in the dark.
“he wuz gonna take me walking in central park!1”

“But I want to keep Mohinder all to myself!”
I looked up at Mohinder; he was crossing himself.

“Oh no! The transvestite who would procure my brain!
Please save me, buxom Svetlana!” he cried in vain.

“im all about peace, kittens, brainz, n fun
mohindy, my life w/u has only begun!1″

“Do you think we could share him?” I wanted to know.
“omg that wud b fun!” the braineater did crow.

We agreed to share him every other day.
Who knew a scientist could be such a good — er, yes.

The moral of this ditty, and I’m sure it will suffice,
Not all braineaters are bad; some are actually nice!

And with that glorious display of cunning ineptitude, we conclude our tournament of rhetorical wits. Who among will be the victor? Only you may decide that! My father’s theories.

Review the submissions carefully and prepare yourself for the epic vote. Once you are adequately prepared, proceed with casting your ballot!