That’s right, I want to be a star. My wonderful self is meant to do something more than breeding. Don’t get me wrong, being pampered is great, but I want it all. I want to be known as an actor, model, and future star of the Puppy Bowl series. Bye, bye Kitties! I am going to be next year’s half time show. Next year’s Super Bowl won’t hold a candle to me. I just now have to get my foot in the door. The only outlet I can think of is reality TV.
I can’t do Survivor. I don’t do living in the wild. My manicurist would kill me. Amazing Race wouldn’t work for me either. Who would be my partner? Chances are I would go with my favorite Russian gal. But I can’t drive and she would have to do all the tasks. Project Runway? Out of the question! I’m full of talent, but not like one person I know. So my only choice right now is America’s Next Top Model. Only down side of it is that I would be put in the house with ten other female dogs. Granted I am a male but that doesn’t matter. Hopefully, they will be very ugly mutts. I would so totally win this one. But knowing the show this is how it would go down:
Tyra:” We are down to our Final two, Ugly and Muggles”
Ugly Dog: “Yea”
Me:“Whatever”
Tyra:“I remember when I first started out. On one of my first photo shoots was posing with little dogs. I saw this really cute one and I totally walked up to it and pet it.”
Me:”Who cares?”
Tyra:“So we have two different models for two different genres. One , Ugly, is so ugly he is so beautiful. I never cried so hard when I saw your swimsuit photo. The other, Muggles , you are so fierce. So who do we pick: the ugly one or the fierce one?. This is so hard for me. I love you both…
Tyra pull out Uglys picture.
Then I go to kick Ugly’s butt. Next I go over to Tyra and pull her ugly weave off.
OK, maybe Top Model not a good idea. There is always Cops. (Heaven forbid!)
I can do all the tasks on Amazing Race that involve food. But if it involves running of any sort, sorry dude, you’re on your own.
I don’t think you’re really Top Model caliber, though. You might want to try out for Jerry Springer’s beauty competition first with the family you have. I think they’d win! They could do paternity tests and everything…or is that Maury Povich I’m thinking of… Anyways, start out small and work your way into the bigtime! You can do eet!
Oh…My…Lord…Not only are the rats domesticated in TX, but they are able to blog and daydream about becoming stars!!!
(Cough) So Svet, I hear big is beautiful. If you could see me right now, you would be captivated by my toothy smile. I wish I could put a picture with my comment, but my aid is refusing to tell me how it is done.