Ok. I got tired of sitting around and I was worried about Claude’s pigeons, so I did a reading to find out where they were. That done, I left the Diner, checked out of my hotel and proceeded, on foot, out of
I found this old cemetery and figured I’d take a look around. Granted, I wasn’t in my Goth outfit (I actually looked more like Velma Dinkley, complete with glasses) but I figured I’d cut through the graveyard anyway. First, this Vampire shows up and wants me to give him a blood donation, like all of it. I initially thought it was some wacko in makeup, but he knew like kung-fu and was really fast. He also seemed to have a garlic allergy. See, I had this garlic sauce from like 2 nights ago in a side pocket of my backpack. The Vamp guy went to grab for me and wound up not only knocking the container loose from the pocket it was in but also apart. The stuff got on him and he was like burning. I used to watch Buffy, so I looked for a stake. I found like 4 near a new grave, they were those wooden marker stakes that I’ve seen for excavations and things and they also use them back home to mark the edges of driveways. I grabbed 2 and put one in a belt loop. The Vamp charged at me and impaled himself on the stake. I was shocked when he turned into dust. I thought that only happened on TV. After seeing that, I half expected Zombies to climb out of the ground and start doing the Thriller dance, but the graveyard remained quiet. I kept walking all night and I kept my 2 stakes, just in case. I kept going until I found a bus station. I took a bus to the airport, and then a plane and I found Claude’s birds safe in their pen.
So even if Emo Peter doesn’t show, I’ll be looking after them. These birds are really cool and I can see why Claude likes them so much. I never had a bird of my own. We just had dogs when I was growing up growing up, but I promise I’ll take good care of this flock until Claude gets back.
We have a dog, but he’s a little demented. He sings Thriller pretty well, though. Can’t say I’ve ever seen a pigeon do that.
It’s obvious that that vampire totally watched Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. Either that, or he was really Keanu Reeves in disguise since he knew Kung Fu.
Whoever he was he’s dust now, litterally.
That’s why I don’t like vampires. They leave a mess behind after you kill ’em, and I really just can’t deal with dust.
Horrible dust allergies, let me tell you.
Lana, I find Vamps to be a real drain.