Waffles, Waffles, and more Waffles

Greetings all,

I have returned to this tasty place. The last few days have been stressful. Mommy has not been taking it too well. She is a stress eater. Today, she has been craving waffles. I wish I could tell her that she didn’t need to eat those waffles. In the last month, her clothing has gotten so tight. She blames the washer while eating some cupcakes. Maybe if I ruin her clothes, she might get the idea.

You may have heard that my sister Claire won homecoming queen. Her first duty was to punch out her former BBF (Best B*tch Friend). Mommy was at home eating cookies when the school called. The High School does’t allow little being on campus, so I missed out in all the fun. If I was able to go, I would have bitten the principal. When they got home, Father forbade Claire to go the homecoming game. I couldn’t hear what was being said because I was too busy barking at the obese mailman. How dare he trespass on my property!

Claire was upset about not being able to go the homecoming game. She ran up the stairs and slamed her door. Then Mommy and Father got into a disagreement about Homecoming. Mommy was saying that she was a good teen ( roll eyes there) and she should have the moment to shine. Meanwhile Hitler …oops…Father was not allowing her to go. He was saying something about her needing to be punished for what she did to Jackie. I was on Mommy’s side on this one. Football games are beneath me but if I can bark and annoy just one stupid teenager, then it is worth it. Also Jackie needed to be punched. She was never nice to me at all. She would call me little spawn. I think she was the real spawn.

Later on that evening, I heard rocks hitting the window. I am thinking “Oh great, homeless people have now taken over the neighborhood. I went to investgate the noise all ready to bark them out of our yard. Turns out it was just Zack. I like Zack. He pets me and feeds me scraps of real good food. I walked right up to the door and tried to listen in on them. I heard the window opening and Zack’s femine voice. He was telling her some “be true to yourself” garbage. Next thing I hear is them leaving out the window. I gave them about five minates and then I went down stairs barking to Father that Claire left. After a few minutes, he and Mommy got the point. Father said he would go to the High School. It sounded like Claire was going to get a beating!

A couple hours passed and Father called. He told Mommy to meet him at the hospital. Mommy then started to have a nervous breakdown. That was the second time Claire has been to the ER. The first time is when she got into a wreak with her stupid ex. I could not accompany Mommy due to rules about not allowing small beings into the ER. After Mommy left, I slept on the couch.

All of them came home about 2 in the morning. They all woke me from my wonderful sleep by turning on all the lights in the living room. From what I could make out, Some pyshco killed Jackie at the Homecoming game. Jackie probbly told the guy to get lost and he attacked her. Claire was with Jackie when she died. She didn’t get hurt at all but she was all bloody from it. She and Father had to talk to the police about it all.

But Mommmy and I got to come eat waffles. Not that she needs any more food in her body. But like I said, she’s a stress eater. Too bad she can’t learn to control her animal urges like me.