lol, so i’m like captured

so i was minding my own biz trying to eat some brainz wen this girl pops up out of nowhere! she was kinda cute and i wanted to ask her how she did her nails but wen i tried to show her mine she used some weird trick on me and i got all confused! then a big dude showed up and grabbed me from behind! he covered my mouth before i could yell “rape!” but it wuz too late and i passed out.

i woke a lil bit later and saw this big man in scary glasses. they were kind of dorky but i knew if he took them off he would be pretty hott! but he talked to me like a meanie and told me my super mind tricks wouldnt work and he wuz right! i new this man though. he was the cheerleaders dad! i guess he wuz kinda mad that i tried to eat his daughters brain lol. i do that sometimes….

but he wuz nice enough. he gave me this comp and left me alone. i totally went online and bought myself a pretty new dress! good thing i like have my card number engrained in my brain! then i went on myspace and found the real cheerleaders page. she hadnt updated i guess she wuz a lil shook up from almost losing her brian lol. anywayz, i sent her a friends request.

so a lil later this fat dude came with a package for me. it wuz my dress! yay! i tried it on but it wuz all riped up and stuff! i wunder wut happend? oh well. i new how to sew so i asked the man for a needle and thread and he went and got me sum. these people sure were nice for holding lil ol’ me captive!

so i set to work on my pretty dress. my mom taugt me how to sew so i was pretty good. but while i was workin on my dress the girl from before came to visit me! i wuz excited becuz i new she was special like me and i still wanted her advice on my nails! but she wuznt being nice she wuz trying to kill me!

so i decided not to play nice either. if she wuznt gonna help me with my nails she wuldnt be living! so i killed her. well she killed herself lol. idk why i didnt really care about her specialness i wuz just hungry for brian.

just before i wuz gonna eat her brian though the scary sexy glasses man came and stopped me. come on i was like SO hungry! but instead i just got nuther nap becuz they hit me with some like darts or sumthing.