OMG Attention!

OMG! Finally! After being an outcast for like, ever, I’m finally gettin’ some attention! I mean, it’s silly. Why wouldn’t a brain-eating serial killer get any attention? That’s like, the coolest thing anyone in the whole world could do! You like hunting? Well, deer are cute! You shouldn’t kill them! Kill an ugly person instead! Or if you like delicious delicacies? Brain is the way to go! See! How cool is that?

Anyways, some peeps are finally recognizing how truly awesome I am. First it was my mommy, and now, I’ve been reunited with my daddy! And boy is he hot, isn’t he? What I wouldn’t give to get HIM in the sack.

Anyways, my daddy came to me in his super sweet company and said, “Gabriel! I’d like to take you out for a night on the town…get to know each other.”

“You…you really mean it?” I asked with tears in my eyes. “You…care about me!”

“Sure, Gabe! That, and I think you’d make a great wing man.”

“Ok daddy, let’s go pick up some hot boys!”

“You mean, girls, right?” he called after me as I scampered down the hall to get ready.

Haha. Silly daddy. Girls were just a side dish! Sexy man meat, now that was the main attraction. I did my best to get ready. I did my hair up sexily, put on a cute little outfit, and activated my cleavage generation powers, before meeting my dad at the entrance.

“I guess you did mean boys,” daddy responded. And did I ever! He stood there, thinking for a minute. “Well, at least you won’t be threatening,” he said, shrugging and off we went.

We got to the club, and it was like, full of skanky girls. They were all over daddy! I tried to save him from the embarrassment a couple of times, but those harpies always sunk their hair in. Crazy sharp hair! I stood over by the bar, and every time my daddy made eye contact with me, I sighed heavily and dramatically. He paid no attention! He was under the sirens’…um…boob allure!

I had to save him. One was rubbing her grossness all over my daddy. I needed to stop it! With my super mind trick, I chopped her head off. Blood squirted all over my daddy. I giggled.

“Oh, Gabriel!” he shouted, and we ran out of the club! “What’d you do that for?”

“I wasn’t having fun, daddy! I want to have fun! You need to make up for years of not spoiling me by spoiling me! I’m your daughter.”

“You’re my son.”

I shrugged. “Tomayto, tomahto.” What a clever references to tomatoes I had made! I truly was Peter’s sister. Or whatever.

“Fine, Gabriel! Where do you want to go?” I smiled. I had the perfect place.

There. This setting was much better. I giggled as the men rubbed their sexiness against my daddy. He was red with excitement! He got so excited, that he even punched me in the face on the way home! I love my daddy.