Well, I guess Ted and Matt didn’t do a very good job! I know I shouldn’t have left them alone!!
But something interesting has come from the situation! Bennet is switching sides!!!
I hope it’s not a trap! Or a joke! I was possibly moments away from ridding the world of one of its biggest evil-doers! Both in size and ego!!
I was deep in Simon Cowell’s lair when I got the urgent message. I had no choice but to leave immediately!! Hopefully that girl I saw can take care of Simon on her own!!!
Now, I’ve been planning. Planning and eating waffles!!
How can I rescue Bennet? Should I trust him or spit in his face?
Perhaps both!!
This has been difficult. Planning is hard work!! I need to take my mind of it, then come back with a fresh start!
So, I want to warn you of a new conspiracy!!
It’s the evil-doer known only as CNET!! CNET has been around for many years and they have slowly been taking over the Internet! They currently own a sinister plethora (the worst kind of plethora!) of evil sites!:
BNET
CHOW (Working with the Chinese!!)
CNET Channel
GameSpot (This spot doesn’t play games!)
International Media Sites (World Domination!!!!)
MP3.com
mySimon (A partnership with the evil Simon Cowell, no doubt!!)
Search.com (Just what do they want to find???)
TechRepublic (Sounds like a revolution plan to me!)
TV.com (The most evil of evil sites!)
Webshots (Soon they’ll be webshooting you!)
ZDNet
They’re so evil they even own the domain name com.com!
When I saw this banner, I knew I’d have to take action!
We have to stop them before they kill your mom and eat her legs!!! Yes, that’s their plan. I recovered this email from The.Man@cnet.com:
To: Employees
From: The ManSoon, my babies, soon it will be time! We will kill their moms and eat their moms’ legs. We must continue to grow our network, and encompass the entire Internet. We will rule the world! And you will all finally get health benefits!
-The Man
What can we do? We can fight back! Throw rocks!!! Torch buildings!! Send emails!!!!
Send out an email to these addresses requesting that CNET stops being evil!:
jarl.mohn@cnet.com
neil.ashe@cnet.com
shelby.bonnie@cnet.com
eric.robison@cnet.com
cammeron.mclaughlin@cnet.com
gloria.lee@cnet.com
support@tv.com
support@cnet.com
If they don’t comply, then we’ll have no choice but to destroy them!! As much as I’d like to do that, I haven’t the time right now! I have to rescue the man in horn-rimmed glasses!!!
I’m glad you are going to help out HRG. My hands are full trying to find a way back to NY. I have a funny feeling I owe that HRG guy for something though.
Actually….
…health benefits does not sound all that bad after all.