Buzzed Reflections

Spending time in this hell hole got me thinking about my life. I began to think about what I could have done with it. Why am I here at the drag club prop room with a bad hangover?

Sometimes I wish I would have had a child. Maybe I could have taught him to ride a bike. I could have took him to his first pub or showed him how to kick another guy’s arse. The only relationship I had with a child was my former best friend Bennet’s daughter Claire.

I remember when we first saw her. Her witch of a mother blew up on me. The fire got on my nice trousers. Bennet went in and grabbed the little girl out of her crib. I could tell from the minute Bennet first held her that he was going to raise her as his own. He wouldn’t admit it, but it was true. He tried asking me advice on how to take care of the child, but I didn’t know jack crap. Did he think I had some child running around England that I take care of on the weekends?

Once he adopted Claire, he quit going to the pub with me. Which was fine with me. I was tired of him getting washed after a few drinks. I think I was more sober after seven drinks than he was after two.

One night, drinking alot, I realized Claire rhymed with Bear. After I left the bar and got back to my flat, I left myself a note to remind myself to get a cute bear for Claire. I could be a nice uncle to her. There is a chance she could have powers like me. Plus, she was kinda cute in a odd way. I jotted down the note and passed out on the floor.

When I woke up the next moring, I found a note saying this:

“Buy Small Beer for Claire Beer”

I thought what the Hell did I drink? After ten minutes, I was able to decode the note. I headed out to the local Toys R Us.

Walking into the toy store made me want to throw up. It was so brightly painted. The colours on the wall were so neon. I didn’t have a clue where I could find a bear.

I went up some pimply-face wanker. “Excuse me, where are your stuffed Bears” I asked

“Uh, huh?” replied the kid

“Stuffed Bears” I asked again

“You mean Care Bears” He answered me

“What is a Care Bear?” I replied

“It is a brightly coloured bear” He answered back

“OK, Where are these Care Bears?”

He pointed to the end of the store. I followed his finger. As I was getting closer to the back, the store paint began to get pinker and pinker. I saw ton of display of Barbie dolls.I didn’t realized that they made so many types of Barbies.

My favorite was LSD Barbie. The outfit like that something a crackhead painter would paint. I don’t think even that sissy would wear that dress.

And then I saw it.

It was setting at the end of a display. Maybe it was my hangover but its face said to me “Claude, pick me!” There were other bears but this one was perfect. I wanted a bear to be there for her when she cried or when she had tea and biscuit parties. I did see the Care Bears and thought they looked like rather shallow buggers.

When I gave the bear to Miss Claire, she smiled at me and for that one moment I felt like a real person
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