Dear Mrs. Petrelli

It seems that you and I got off on the wrong foot or paw. I have no personal issues with yourself. From what I can read online, you seem to have a wonderful fashion sense. I would have killed my own child to have that diamond necklace you wear at an NYC fund raiser two years ago. I also loved that dress you wore at your son’s announcement of him running for congress. The colors flattered your skin tone perfect.

We also share an important person in common, Claire. She is just as stunning as you and I. She loves Dooney & Bourke, Prada, Vuitton, Versace and Chanel. She’s the best dressed person in Union.

One time, her former “best friend” Jackie came over to get ready for a dance. As they where getting ready for the dance. Jackie was bragging to Claire about the new Dolce & Gabbana necklace she had. She started to put on her ugly pink dress. Claire looks at her necklace real closely and announced to Jackie that the necklace was a fake. Jackie was offended by that and started to protest. Calmly, Claire walked over to her jewelry box and took out her REAL Dolce & Gabbana necklace and showed it to Jackie. I could see the look on Jackie’s face drop as fast as her SAT scores.

Think of all the shopping sprees you two could have.

I know I have issues with your son but it for good reason. He made the first strike against me. I would have left him alone. I don’t want him hurting my Claire like he hurts all those hookers in every town he visits. I know how you protect your family, I have to protect the people I love too.

Also, Please don’t turn Claire into a brunette. Blonde’s have more fun. Look at Elle Woods in Legally Blonde. She solved a court case by knowing about the basic rules of a perm. No offense to you but brunettes are sooo boring. I do agree that they make the best politicians wives cause they are so dull.

Please take my olive branch.
Mr. Muggles