It’s me Hana again! I have to warn you about Linderman!!! He’s planning something! And if Star Wars has taught us anything, it’s that when old, evil people plan, it’s not good for anyone!
What’s his plan? To elect a certain evil-doer to the White House! He’s going to rig the elections!!!!!
My main complaint with this is that he’s not Jewish! If we rig an election, why can’t we use it to elect a Jewish President? That’s the only way we’ll ever have one!!! And imagine how rich our nation would be! We’d never spend money on wasteful government programs like schools and bridges!! We’d invest it all it movies!
But what’s worse than the lack of Jewish President is this little boy!:
We have to stop him! There are several options available when it comes to killing children!!! There’s the good ol’ “I’m the Ice Cream Man…..NOT!” trick. But my favorite, the explosive teddy bear!! But he’s being guarded by Linderman’s goons! Goons are tough to get through unless you’re a mutated turtle-human hybrid with youth and ninja-skills!
So your mission is to turn Micah into this:
Dead Micah!!!
I’m not sure Jessica’s going to be too fond of that idea…
Hey. Just because I’m naked half of the time, doesn’t mean that I’m an evil doer. I have a plan…You’ll see.