Oh, My god, everything has changed in my world in the last 24 hours. I went from trapped in box to mourning Father in a box.
The day started normally. Mommy and Father where packing up the house. Lyle was being ignored. Claire was being a PMS teenage girl. Since I am royalty, I don’t have to pack up. I act as the packing supervisor, making sure Mommy packs my doggy bath. Father and Claire got into one of their wonderful disagreements. Father wants to leave this town and Claire wants to stay with her Stalker. Blah.Blah.Blah, Same song and dance every morning. This time Claire stormed out on Father.
I decided that I needed a break from my duty. I found my favorite cushion and let the sandman take me away. The next thing I know, I hear Claire running back into the house. I was thinking “Great, Round 2 and it only nine” But she was telling her mom about some man following at school. She said something about yelling “I don’t know you and don’t touch me there”. I figure it was her Stalker/Boyfriend. I was too bored to wake up so I went back to sleep.
All of a sudden, I felt someone grabbing me. I felt this person’s big rough hands holding me. This person need a good hand cream. I didn’t get a good look and by the time I was awake I was in a moving box. I heard noise above me and it got dark. Then BAM, a knife was poking though the top. Nice, my kidnapper is kind enough to give me air. I couldn’t see much in my cell. I did come across one thing and one thing only, my beloved Twinkies.
I had to fight the urge at first. I had to keep telling myself, “I lost quite a bit of weight. I don’t want to gain it back”. But the Twinkie keep saying to me “Muggles, you know you want it.” NO, I don’t want you any more. I am a stronger being than I was a few weeks ago. To avoid any more temptation, I just moved over to the other side of the box.
After awhile, I heard some yapping. Yay! A search party for me! But the talking stayed in one spot. I heard Father’s and Mother’s voice. Then the creepy stalkers. The last voice was unknown. The voice sounded like another PMS girl. Her and father where mouthing each other back and fourth. One time, I even heard her scream. I tried to make noise but no one heard me.
The party only lasted an hour or two. It sounded like everyone left. No one even noticed I was missing. I heard the Twinkies say “I told you so, no one loves you but me”. I told the Twinkies to shut up. “Bite Me” replied the Twinkies. “In your dreams, leave me alone you stupid cream-filled cake,” I finally shot back.
The next thing I knew, I heard Mommy calling my name. I called out, “I am here!” She opened the box like a kid opening their present at Christmas. When I saw her tear-stained face, I knew something was wrong.
“Muggles honey, something happen to your daddy. He was killed today” She told me.
I was stunned with the news. All I could think of was taking care of Mommy. Maybe I should give her the Twinkie.
Dogs are most excellent supervisiors Mr. Muggles.
Make sure to give your mommy and Claire Twinkies.
OMG. You and I were so in the same place at the same time and didn’t do lunch? Ugh, the humanity. I need to vent, wanna get lattes? Low fat, stay away from those twinkies. My Dad sent me to Company fatcamp when I became addicted to them at 15.
Twinkies…That reminds me of good ole Svetlana. I wonder whatever happened to her. I remember those nights of being lost underneath a role of twinkie flab. She was a lot of woman, but she was mine.