I never would have believed it, but here I am celebrating the holidays with my arch nemeses, my ex-girlfriend, and my current girlfriend at the company Christmas party here at the Burnt Toast Diner in Midland, Texas. It was kinda last-notice too, considering my inability to keep track of time, but hey, aliens don’t need to pay attention to such trifling details like Earth time measurements.
I needed to get a Christmas present for Elle, so I flew on down to the Buy More in the outlet mall. My girl Elle is a classy gal who just wants to make her daddy proud, so I bought her this hi-tech surveillance system so she can spy on her dad 24/7. It’s a much better system than the surveillance I had running on Claire’s house, which consisted mostly of webcams hidden in trees. I also bought Elle this tight little t-shirt with the Slusho logo on it. Mmm, mmm, Slusho…
When I was at the Buy More, I ran into Claire’s little brother Sylvester (?) in the computer aisle blogging on Adam’s site. I would have offered Sly a lift to the party, but I figured that it’d be hard enough flying there while carrying all of Elle’s presents. Not to mention the fact that I want to interact with Claire as little as possible. But I see he got here all right anyway.
Yeah, I think this is the best Christmas party ever: My parents aren’t around, I’ve got an awesome girlfriend I can sneak under the mistletoe, and maybe I can take that mistletoe and use it to poison the eggnog and get rid of the company once and for all!
But I’ve got this really weird feeling that I know the guy serving muffins from somewhere, and I don’t know why. He just seems so familiar…Wait! I know where I’ve seen him before!
Can you believe that Mos Def was invited to this party? The day just keeps getting better and better!
West-
His name is not Sylvester! I think it is Neo!
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I loved my gifts, babe! I’m wearing the slusho shirt and those transformer panties I bought myself…for you tonight…and that’s it 😉
Actually that’s not Mos Def…but…for some reason I suddenly can’t remember where the heck I know this guy from…
I recognized that guy also!
I just put out the first blog of the Christmas season.
Things will not work out with you and Elle. Sorry to break that to you squirt.
Oh. By the way, could you scratch my nose. I’m a little statuefied right now.