Wow, I can’t believe this year is almost over. It’s hard to believe that all that’s happened to me this year took place in only a year! It’s so much more than any of the other cheerleaders could say they’ve been through in their entire live, much less a year.
I mean, I ran into May (the creepy cheerleader who liked to watch me and West) and Debbie (the biggest skank like EVER) at the store. They were browsing through the pregnancy tests right below the condoms. I was planning on ignoring them and coming back for Mom’s nasal spray later, but May spotted me. “OMG! Claire! Like, I heard West broke up with you! Does that mean you’re available?”
“Umm…” I was taken aback for a moment. “Is he going around telling people that he broke up with me? That is the biggest pile of poo that I have ever heard. I broke up with him because he was whiney and didn’t have the balls to take down a major corporation with me… Wait. It’s Christmas break. How did you know we broke up? West doesn’t talk to you robots,”
“Oh, Claire! You are soooo high maintanance. You are soooo cool! Isn’t she Debbie? Isn’t she?” May said brightly, ignoring my question. Is California like the national stalker state or some thing?
“Psh, like no way,” Debbie muttered. May wasn’t listening. I was so the new head cheerleader. That seemed to piss Debbie off so she dropped her test of choice into her basket and looked at me head on. “So that means you don’t have a boyfriend anymore. When I dumped mine, I had a new one the next day,”
“Maybe it’s because you’re an easy sleazy drunken floozy,” I said. That shut her right up. Unfortunatly, May was still trying to fight for me.
May gasped. “Claire has a new boyfriend! She has to! Don’t you Claire?”
“No,” I said without thinking. Debbie had her “I’m better than you” look and poor May looked like she was going to cry.
“I mean, I’ve got two in line, but it’s like so hard to choose!” I said hurridly.
“You must have a picture, right? Maybe we can help you choose,” Debbie sneeered.
I was so not going to let that little whore win this. I dug in my wallet.
“In fact I do. Look,” I looked at them happily as they stared in awe at the picture.
“Oooh! The one on the left! No… Wait… Yeah… OMG! It’s so hard to choose!” May shrieked, drawing stares from the old woman in the depends section.
“Come on May, I have… A hair appointment. We’re leaving,”
“Bye Claire!” May shouted as Debbie dragged her to the express lane.
I let out a sight of relief and put the picture back in my wallet. They’ll never know, right?
Nice,
Quick thinking!
That’s pretty messed up. I like.