Poetic Musings of Incestuous Nieces and Brain-Eaters

Hey everybody. It’s Peter. I’m taking a break from crying and cutting my wrists and writing songs about girlfriends leaving me (and dying) to introduce some poems to you. This first poem is aptly titled, by a girl who is obviously in touch with her emotions. This is a good thing. It is by my cute little niece, Claire, who also happens to cry a lot, which makes me want to make love to her. Is that wrong?

I Can Still Cry

by Claire

My bones won’t break

And death won’t take

My skin’s like steel

But I still can feel

A bullet through the chest

And it still won’t rest

I watch them fall

One and all

Life’s an endless test

A sword through us two

I’ll walk away

But you’ll be through

My blood will be dry

But I can still cry

I must say, that was as hot as steaming pile of dog doo doo in a flaming paper bag that is to be stomped out by an unsuspecting person’s boot, stomped out like the lives of Peter’s girlfriends.

And this next poem by the man who is the cause of many of the tears. Luckily, his sexiness redeems him. Somehow, this man who is as idiotic as a child not on Ritalin, has come close to poetic genius by adapting his own version of Schiller’s Ode to Joy. However, its lack of metaphors makes it fall short of the glory that is Peter.

Ode to Brains

by Sylar

Brains, source of super mind trick
Sexiness of Sylar!
Touched with telekinesis, a brain to lick
Of the hunger, we eat regardless of gender!
Your sweet powers, free for the pick
Held for next the power of the flier
All men on earth become victims
In my lust for these powers so higher

Be eaten, you millions!
This kiss for sexy boys
Dreamy guys, on this earth
Must have tasteful brains and be my toy

Whoever has the great fortune
To eat a scrumptious brain
Whoever wins the love of a lovely man
Eat his brain and ours!
Yes, anyone who has a soul
It comes from a brain on this earth
And anyone who doesn’t should run away
Except they can’t with no brain under their hood!

Those who bear the weird squiggly sign
Pay homage to me!
I lead to your death
Where your brains are eaten with glee!