The Bishops: Putting the FUN in Dysfunctional!

Things have been pretty…creeptastic lately, like you wouldn’t even believe! It all started with Daddy’s Christmas party, apparently Daddy took it upon him to put the FUN in Dysfunctional. It was…a good time? Despite seeing Peter. Ugh. I swear that guy’s sole purpose in life is to get me all irritated or whatev. Good thing Adam wasn’t there. It would have been like ex-boyfriend overdose and I would have totally needed to spew. I’ll admit there are some days where I really miss Adam, and some where I really wish I didn’t do what I did with him. I’m strapped for deets, apparently my Daddy is getting suspicious of this place and mentioned maybe getting his own journal. Yuck, how like….WEIRD would that be? God forbid he gets like, a girlfriend or something, how yuck would that be? *shudders*

ANYWAY. So this morning I was set to have my typical Jamba Juice date with my little snuggle birdie when I awoke to an ice cold heavy figure next to me. I jumped up and pulled back the sheets to reveal that stupid statue of Nathan my Dad kept over from the Christmas party. I had been too busy eying West and glaring at the Cheerleader to really hear what that was about but….Nathan was a real trooper I’ll give him that. I ended up under the sheets for a moment longer, paying my respects and all when there was a knock at my window.

WEST. Whoops, how would I explain how exactly the statue of Nathan wound up in my bed??? I used all my might…which hello I’m built like an eleven year old…so it wasn’t much…to shove the damn thing off my bed. Great, that STILL looked bad. There was the statue of Nathan face down in my floor tangled up in my Hannah Montana sheets.

I quickly climbed into a Chewbacca shirt to lighten the mood and a Transformers hoodie was thrown on over that. I opened my window and grinned. “Hello my little eagle, how are you this fine winters morning?”

He gave me a curious look. “Is the statue of Nathan in your room again?”

“What? NEVER.”

He peered over my shoulder and threw his hands up, obviously he wasn’t happy. “Okay, seriously Elle. Your Dad is creepy, why does he keep doing that?”

“Oh. Yeah. My Daddy, right…what a creepface.”

“I have an idea, lets leave the Nathanbot, I mean statue down there in Kirby Plaza. Let’s see your Dad get a hold of him from atop the sculpture.”

“What?” I paused. “Er uhm. Thats not nice, he’ll like, rust or something.”

I could not imagine his pretty face being rusted. Could you imagine it? What a horrible thing to picture. Those long, beautiful, eyelashes covered in yucky flakey rust. NO WAY.

West shrugged. “What it’s not like we can bring him back to life or anything.”

Or could we???? I grinned. “Oh yeah, like…no way, no life bringing backy or anything because that’s just absurd. Who would wanna do that? Not me because I don’t need to be kissed by Nathan Petrelli again because it really isn’t the greatest thing ever. I mean…I love you?”

West was still looking at me like I had just said that the Autobots were better than the Decepticons. I sighed and looked to poor statue Nathan on the plush pink carpet.

Oh Nathan, beautiful Nathan…multi talented Nathan…

“Uh well, we could bring him back and we would like totally owe us a favor and you could get him to help you take over the world,” I suggested.

West’s eyes widened. Bingo. AND WHO SAID I WASN’T SMART.

“Plus it would be using Claire’s blood and whatev, so it would kinda be a burn on her,” I shrugged. Wow, I am an evil, evil genius. Who knew I was this genius?

West nodded in excitement. I wasn’t exactly sure how it could work but I slipped on some Hello Kitty fluffy slippers, ran down the hall and managed to located the remnants of Claire’s blood in our labs. I swore there was more…Who knew Cheerleeders bleed so much anywho? Yeesh.

And that was that. Of course, how the hell do you stab a needle through gold? Guess we’ll just have to wait and see, right?