Regestration for Lafawnda, SATs, and a Missing Biodad

So winter break is over and I’m back to school. I’m still in Cali while the evil paper company figures out where they want dad to work from since he’s pretty much their biotch again now. On top of that, now that the whole family knows about Daddy’s gunslinging exploits, we have to listen to it at the dinner table.

The other night during dinner, Daddy was recalling some of those exploits from the past. He seems to be happy to be able to talk to us about it now. What ever happened to the “When I was a youngun I had to walk up hill to school in the rain both ways”? Now when I complain about practice being rained out he tells the whole family how hard it is shoot somebody when they can turn into water. Geez, such a drama queen. And then a tiny voice spoke from under the table.

“Speaking of school… My teacher thinks that you might have registered me for the wrong grade…”

Mom started to scream. “Rat! RAAAT!”

“No, Mom, it’s just Larry,” I said.

“Claire Bear. You know that’s not his name,” Daddy said. “His name is Lafawnda,”

He looked under the table but Lafawnda was no longer there. We finally found him in the corner wrestling Muggles for a piece of garlic bread. Muggles was winning, so we pulled him off and Mom made him a plate of food and pulled a stepping stool for him to sit on at the table. “Now what’s this about Linda?” Dad asked when everything was settled.

“My teacher says I’m in the wrong grade,”

“That’s ridiculous. You can’t be any more stupid than the rest of the first graders. I will not have my son put back into Kindergarden,” Daddy said, pounding his fist on the table indignantly.

“No, not back. My teacher says I should be a freshman. At Claire’s school,”

Daddy looked thoughtful. “Daddy! He’ll totally screw up my new super awesome reputation!” I cried. Daddy thought for a few more minutes and when he finally spoke we were almost done cleaning up the dishes. “I have it!” He cried, thrusting his hand to the air. “We’ll register him at Claire’s school,”

“Daddy!” I shrieked.

“But we’ll do it under a different name so he doesn’t tarnish Claire Bear’s reputation,”

Mom clapped, clearly in awe of Daddy’s brilliance. “What will we call him?” I asked. Dad went back into his thoughtful mode. “How about… Lyle Bennet,” He said. “He can have our old last name until we go back to it. And Lyle… Well, that’s the one name we never call him, so it must not be his name,” He reasoned. Linus didn’t say anything. He just nibbled on his bread with a little grin on his face.

The next day I met up with Mom, Dad, and Lindsay to regester him for my school. We had to be quiet because the SAT prep class was still going on. (I finished my stuff earlier than the rest. My ex was right when he said I was smart). We were just leaving the office when a scream split the air. My B.E. (Ball-less Ex) was running toward us. Something had finally made him snap. “Robot on the loose! Politition-bot on the loose!” He cried. Elle was trailing behind him, but making considerably less noise. “What are you doing here, aren’t you like, 20?” I asked her. I’d been waiting all day.

“She’s with me,” E.B. said, slinging an arm around her.

“I didn’t know you had a thing for little girls, Elle,” I said. “If you and E.B. don’t work out, I know this crazy cheerleader who might go for you,” Elle bristled. She had obviously met May back in SAT prep.

“Anyway, you’re biodad-bot has gone missing. We were poking him with some of your blood and now he’s running around out there. We must terminate him!”

“No!” Elle and I both screamed, but for very different reasons. Well, maybe not. I am a Petrelli by blood.

Daddy excused himself and went running off. West and Elle flew off somewhere leaving me, Mom and Lafawnda. “I have to go… to the bathroom,” I said. Why do I have to do everything around here?