Sylar’s Bachelor Contestant: Elle Bishop!

I’m an avid TV watcher. Seriously, when you grow up in a company building…there’s not much else to do aside from channel surfing and Adam Monroe. Did I go there? Oh yeah. I went there. So when I heard about the whole Sylar’s Bachelor thing, I knew I had to be a part of it.

So I whined to Daddy of course. Daddy doesn’t believe in me dating, Daddy actually searched for chastity belts for me on eBay when I was 17 and he found out I was hanging out with Adam too much. Of course I lied and said I was just punishing him for his sexist comments. Then I turned 18…and well, different story.

So. This is where I tell a touching story instead. You see, long ago and totally far away? Sexy Sylar and I were the best of friends. We did EVERYTHING together. He’d do my nails, I’d do his. He seriously let me do his highlights even. Daddy thought I was just being a good girl and going to bed early every night when really I was sneaking out. I was always dressed to the nines (honestly my father shouldn’t do my laundry though, wearing gold dresses may look cute, but on a comfort level they just plain suck like a mother- yeah, nevermind) and we tore up the town. I just…miss my best friend. Sylar got power hungry and ended up in Mexico and well. I lost the one person I truly thought understood me. Plus he’s really good at nail art…

Since West and I have an open relationship and I’m basically into trying new things because I’ve never tried ANYTHING. I decided we could see other people in our relationship. Like last week? I totally met this chick named Veronica who is some sort of detective and we made out at this bar. It was cool, but then she tried to say I looked like her and ew, I’m not THAT vain.

So yeah. Back on point (I left my ADD meds at home. So I can’t stay on subject. ZOMG IS THAT A MINI BAR IN MY ROOM?! Oh wait…) I begged Daddy. I whined. I threw a temper tantrum and batted my eyelashes. Then he told me Noah of all people was going to be in this thing. So of course I totally used that to my advantage.

“Uhm. Daddy…Noah was trying to take down the Company with the help of that really cute Mohindy. Do you really think you can send him in alone? I think he totally needs a partner or something. Or at least someone to observe him.”

“You do make an excellent point, Elle,” Daddy said as he looked up from Gold is your Friend monthly.

“I think it would be best to send someone in with an insider scoop.”

“Right. I will send in the Haitian. He does well at social events, Elle,” Daddy nodded.

“Daddy…don’t be ridiculous. You need someone who is a natural competitor, someone who will last! Someone like…”

“Adam Monroe?”

“LIKE ME, DAD.”

“Elle, you’ve never been with a man before. You wouldn’t know the first thing about a competition like this.”

“What?” I fumed. Okay so I had to keep up the good girl act. “Oh well. I learned a lot on Desperate Housewives.”

So he finally gave in. AND HERE I AM. I couldn’t be more excited. Though it is a little bit awkward to see your boyfriend in the same competition. I hope he realizes by now that I don’t play fair.

On the plus side, there’s Noah. I’ve totally had a crush on him since I was like seven and rarely do we get shoved in mansions together like this. Since it’s my job to keep an eye on him and all…well, I could hang out with him and get to know him a little better!

Wait…Eye on the prize, Elle…

So, while everyone else unpacks and whores themselves out to the rest of the household…I’m gonna drop by Nathan’s room [gotta pay him some more respects] and then go see if there’s anyway I could get a slusho. Then of course, I have to go babysit Noah. Could be much, much worse…I could have to watch that brat, Molly….