Challange #2 Maya Woefully Woos

I was very suprised, but quite happy to learn that I was not eliminated. When I realized that I was actually happy, I had to light my hair on fire and dunk my head in the toilette as punishment. With that taken care of, I decided that it must be time to start on the next challange. Seduce a celebrity. Hmmm… All those who are celebrities to me would be completely unknown to the Americans in this competition. I don’t think Mexican porn stars count, do they? And so, with my hair still sopping wet, I sat on the tub and tried to think. I tried rubbing my lamp, but Alejandro didn’t come out. He’s been in there alot ever since I gave him those magazines that he wanted…

When no idea came to mind, I decided to forage for my dinner in the road to get my mind going. I had a tussle with a few birds, and I was able to have my dinner. I suppose I should have moved out of the road while I sent my mealtime apology to the heavens… for giant fancy truck nearly sent me to be with soul of the animal I was about to enjoy. The driver got out screaming. “What do you think you’re doing, you crazy woman?”

I gently told him that while I was many things, I was not a whore. And then I explained that I was praying over my meal.

“Praying over your meal? You call screaming in the middle of the road saying grace? Good-“

I interupted him. I began to wail loudly, begging for his forgivness. I pleaded with him to get back in the car and run me over, but no such luck. A look of concern flashed over his face.

“Alright ma’am, I’m gonna bring you to somebody who can help you…”

“What? I don’t need help! I don’t deserve help! Forgive me for wasting your TIIIIIMMMEE!!!”

“The man whipped out his cell phone and made a call. “Hey, it’s Toby. Toby Keith you moron. We have a situation and since you’re the only quack I know I think you can help us out,”

Within minutes, a long black limosine pulled up beside the fancy truck. Out popped a little fat man and a small army of men in white coats.

“I’m hear to help you…” He said. “But It must be done on national TV so I can gain back some of respect I lost from my viewers after the whole Brittany thing. So these nice men are going to take you away for awhile and then you can come on my show and you can tell everyone how much I helped you,”

I looked at him for some time, then began to scream and thrash when the men came up behind me.

“Wait, stop that!” The man called Toby yelled. “Look, she seemed harmless. Why don’t we just have your makeup people fix her up, get her a nice dress, then have a nice chat,”

“Can it be televised?” Dr. Phil asked Toby.

“I suppose, as long as I get some credit,”

And with that I was whisked away where the burnt ends of my hair were combed out and what looked like animal byproducts were smeared on my face. The nice lady gave me shot so they could put me in a pretty dress that I do not deserve to wear. And suddenly, I was shoved onto a stage with lights glaring from every direction.
Dr. Phil and Toby led me to a nice plushy chair. They had given me another shot just before so I had a hard time protesting. It was only when I had settled down in my chair that I had noticed that both men were looking at me kind of strangely. “Now Miss today I’m going to do you. I mean find out why you do what you do,”

“I’m very curious to see what she can do,” Toby said, a kind of goofy look on his face.

“I’m sorry Toby, why don’t you hang out backstage. I’m afriad having you in the room would be going against doctor patient confidentiality,”

And of the sudden both men were clawing at each other to get to me. As I sat and watched them fight like two lionesses over a fresh kill I dimmly remembered that my Latino body in it’s cleaned up state had once had a part in turning a gay Sybriel straight. “Oh goodness,” I said. “Does this mean that I have secuced you both?” Toby shoved Dr. Phill off of his back on took a flying leap onto my chair. “Yes, I believe it does. I really do like you now. Whataya say we take a spin in my Ford?”

For good measure, I leaned forward and pressed my lips to his, digging my fingers through his adorably messy hair. When I drew back, he was panting. “I’m afraid I can’t today,” I said. “I have a brain eating serial killer to woo. But know that I will think of you whenever I play in the road or get hit by a car,”

“What about me?” The fat little doctor said from the ground.

I’m only supposed to seduce one person I think. I think this man is the better one to tell everyone about,” said apoligeticly. And after one last kiss with Mr. Keith, I ran from the studio.

Sylar would like this Toby Keith, I am sure of it. I wonder if I’ll get extra points for having a man of eduaction fall for me as well?