Agent Audrey Hanson, FBI. Allies and secret stashes

I’ve been thinking about this and I need an ally. When the time comes to nab Sylar, I’m going to need all the help I can get.

Unfortunately, my options are limited. Who should I go with? The politician who’s been riding on his looks and smile all his life? That little girl? The stalker kid? The nice girl who bakes cookies? That walking cartoon with the cucumber-enhanced leather pants? No. It looks like the only option I have for this is Mr. Bennet.

“Mr. Bennet,” I nodded to him.

“Agent Hanson,” he nodded in return.

“I have something that I would like to discuss with you,” I said. “Privately.”

He raised his eyebrows for a moment, but they quickly returned to their original position. “Very well,” he said with a nod.

“I have a confession to make,” I said. “I’m not just here to seduce Sylar. I’m here to take him in so he’s sees justice for the crimes he’s committed.”

“Really?” Bennet said with a flash of surprise. He composed himself, though and quickly added another, more thoughtful “really.”

“Here’s the problem: I’m going to take him down, that’s certain. I may need some backup though and there aren’t many people around here that I have confidence to back me up. Despite the fact that you call yourself Horn-Rimmed Glasses when your eyewear is clearly browline, I think you’re the only one I that I can fully trust.”

“Oh sure,” he smiled pleasantly. “You can trust me.”

“Good.” I feel better about this already. I kind of like this guy, with the suit and the 2 dollar haircut, he could easily be a fed too. I wonder if he did any work for the government.“One question though, sometimes when I apprehend someone in the name of justice, I am forced to shoot the suspect in the face. Do you think that you could do that if necessary?”

“Gosh, I don’t know,” he answered. “I mean, if it’s my civic duty then I guess so.”

“OK, so you’ve handled a gun before?”

“Sure, my old boss and I used to do a little shooting together,” he answered. “That was before he moved on though, you know. New job, new life.”

“Ok, good,” I nodded. “I understand you’re a great paper salesman and all, but what other skills might you have? How can I know you’ll be there when the time comes?”

“Well, let’s see.” Bennet thought for a moment. “I used to be a headhunter. Plus you wouldn’t believe how cutthroat paper can get. You make the wrong turn in my business and pow, you’re done forever. I’ve survived for a long time by killing those who were in my way. Er, metaphorically speaking, of course.”

I nodded some more. Yeah, I like this guy. He may be a little paper crazy, but he is a guy who gets things done. “Let me show you my cache of weapons.”

Bennet whistled as I opened my gun case. “Nice couple of guns, there.”

“Yeah, couple,” I chuckled as I opened the second case, revealing the row of pistols contained in it. “You think only guys like their toys?”

“How many do you actually need?”

“Be prepared, that’s my motto.” I opened the third case and showed him the heavier stuff. “Here’s my MP5 and my AK. We can use these as backup, but I don’t want to pull these out unless absolutely necessary. You go full auto on one of these puppies and a lot of people can get hurt real quick.”

“Got it.”

“This,” I hefted my shotgun. “This… is my boomstick. The 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart’s top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That’s right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan. Retails for about $109.95. It’s got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger.”

“Shop smart, shop S Mart,” Bennet recited the store’s jingle.

“You got it,” I winked. “Never know when you need to open a few doors, right? Now let me show you my pride and joy. This is a Glock P88 11mm.”

“Eleven millimeter?”

“It’s one better than a ten,” I answered. “This thing shoots through schools. Not that I actually shoot through schools. I mean, I might have to sometime if I’m chasing a perp, but I don’t do that sort of thing every day.”

“Eleven millimeter,” he repeated as he reached for the pistol. “Yeah, I can definitely see myself using one of those.”

“Not a chance, buster.” I slapped his hand away. “This is a big gun. I don’t think you’re ready for it.”

“You sure you can handle something like that?”

“Don’t you start with me too pal,” I warned. “Ever since my days in the academy, I’ve had to prove that I can do this job. All the guys took one look at me with my boyish good looks and my innocuous breasts and they all said that I’m too pretty to make it. That I should pursue a career as a pantsuit model. Well where am I now? I’m taking down Sylar. And where are they? They’re going after inside traders and tax cheats. This is my gun and I’m using it.”

“Well what do I get, then?” he asked.

“This.”

“What, this thing? It’s so small.”

“You got a problem with that?”

3 Comments

  1. I’ve worked with smaller.

  2. They always have a problem with that. At least that’s been my epxerience.

  3. I don’t have anything small…It’s another reason why all men are so jealous of me.

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