Cyke whines and dines

So, I was draining the main vein when Sylar announced the next challenge. I overheard some of the others talking about having to go on a date with Sylar’s mother. They all seemed kind of freaked out. Ha! Wussies. Charming the old ladies is my specialty.

As I was walking to my room I realized that if I played my cards right I just might be able to swing a three way. Oh man, that would be hot, doing a sexy chick like Sylar and her mother at the same time. I was getting goose bumps all over just thinking about it. I couldn’t even walk straight. I knew I would have to, er, relieve my tension before the big date or I was going to be too much of a wreck to even speak.

Once I was again master of my domain, I slipped into this fancy-shmancy outfit the Professor made me rent and headed upstairs for my romantic meal with Sylar’s MILF.

I got to the room and opened the door. The lighting was very dark and romantic. Two long thin candles flickered on the table. I moved closer, trying to make out Sylar’s mom in the shadows. I hesitated. There was like the foulest smell I had ever smelled. Kind of like when the Blob lets rip with a real nasty stink bomb. You know, like after he’s just swallowed a tub of KFC extra-crispy with a gallon of Chocolate Chocolate Chip chaser.

Anyway, I pinched my nose shut and leaned in close. Suddenly a lightening flash from outside filled the room with blinding light and I got a good look at Sylar’s mom. A horrible high-pitched shriek pierced the deafening silence.

I realized the shriek came from me. Slowly I uncurled myself from the fetal position. This is like a totally excellent defensive trick I learned one time when I was getting beat up by some bullies. I fall to the floor and curl up in a ball. Then no one can see me and I can’t be hurt. It works every time.

I was hoping I hadn’t turned off Sylar’s mom too much by my little freak out. Cautiously I peaked over the table at her. Oh man, this chick desperately needed some Aloe Vera. There was still half a thing of Lubriderm in my room. I figured now was an excellent time to get the hell out of there and get it.

Then I remembered how totally hot Sylar is. I’m suppose to wine and dine her mom. Fine. I turned down the opacity on my glasses to the point where I couldn’t see anything. I mean there really wasn’t much to look at anyway. Sylar’s mom is pretty flat.

We chatted over dinner. I actually wound up having a pretty good time. She isn’t one of those chicks who goes on and on about boring crap. She let me talk about myself. I told her about the time I had saved the Earth from an alien invasion. I also told her what a dick Wolverine is, always giving me wedgies and stuff. She was very understanding. By the end of the evening, I was thinking there was an excellent chance that threeway idea of mine just might work out after all.