I was third to be called into the room where Sylar’s mom awaited. At the beginning of this contest, I had been focused on an ulterior motive, as per usual. But now, it was 5 challenges in and Sylar hadn’t been seduced by my boyish good looks and charm yet! I was beginning to feel frustrated. But then, he introduced this challege, a daunting one indeed…
There she sat, at the end of the table, her head dropped over her chest and a lone maggot crawling out of her ear. I approached, slowly.
I had never met any of my previous beau’s mothers before, much less a dead one. I wasn’t afraid, of course, it’s just that I haven’t had much of a good experience with mothers or dead people. I figured I’d charm her like I charmed that girl in the downstairs kitchen the other night, and I’d be good to go. I just had to remember that I wasn’t in my box, with the dead people trying to get at me, I was in a dining room with Sylar’s mother who was probably a decent woman. Keep it cool. Keep it calm. Breathe in, breathe out…
“Hello, ma’am,” I said gamely, like they do on TV when a man first meets his mother-in-law. I kissed her rotting hand, watching for any sudden movements.
WHERE’S MY BOY, she spelled out with the Ouija board. I quickly came up with a game plan. I’d tell her what she wants to hear, getting into her good graces, then I’d gain knowledge about the dead that would enable me to raise an army of reanimated warriors who would take over the planet at my command. Sylar would surely fall for me then!
“He’s in Timbuktu, being received by world diplomats and various Brazilian dancers. He’s a very special boy, your son, Mrs. Gray. May I call you Virginia?”
YES HE IS. YOU MAY CALL ME WHATEVER YOU LIKE YOUNG MAN.
“You have such a beautiful name,” I told her. “Here, have a chocolate. It’s quite apt you’d be named for such a beautiful state. The last time I was in Virginia…”
YOU FLATTER ME, BOY, she spelled. TELL ME MORE ABOUT MY SON.
“Sylar? I mean, Gabriel? Yes, Gabriel is a very special boy indeed. I could tell from the very first moment I saw him. I tell you, Virginia, your Gabriel is destined for something. And all I wish is to be forever by his side, helping him and encouraging him.”
WHY DOES EVERYONE CALL HIM SYLAR.
“That’s the name he uses when he, uh, when he is using his special talents. I think that to truly support your son, you should call him by his true name.”
I SUPPOSE. I LIKED GABRIEL, BUT IF IT REALLY MEANS THAT MUCH TO HIM.
“Didn’t he kill you with a pair of scissors?”
Oops. I was planning on following everyone else’s lead in bringing up the death thing as less oten as possible, as she might be sensitive about it or something, but there was no going back now.
SOMETIMES OUR DISCUSSIONS GET A LITTLE…HEATED.
“Oh.” I thought about that for a moment, then decided not to question further. However I must have a little human emotion left in me, for I did reach over and took her hand. The one that wasn’t moving the Ouija board, anyway.
I broke the silence by asking the question I had been burning to know.
“How does it feel…being dead?” I leaned forward, expectantly.
For a moment, she spelled nothing. And then:
WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING, BOY.
“Me? I’m immortal.” Best to keep it simple.
WELL, YOU ARE A HANDSOME DEVIL. WILL YOU STAY WITH ME FOREVER?
“Uh, well look at the time! I’ll be back after the next guest gets their turn with you, is that all–”
Her arms reached out and grabbed me, dragging me towards her. “No! NO!!” I screamed as she started to pull me down through the ground. Why does this always happen?
I’m surprised you got caught out with such a newbie mistake. As a fellow good looking person, you should have known better. You let her get too close, and then you didn’t interupt her before she could finish saying that “Stay with me forever stuff…” yep a serious newbie mistake.
I can’t believe I was caught off guard like that…it’s not like I freaked out or anything. I must never again forget how sexy I am, even to dead people.