Planning the perfect wedding takes time, money and effort. Good thing I’m a thief so money is no object. However, my future husband might frown upon my job, which would mean I’d have to rely solely on my Pinehearst Paycheck. Those zeros seemed to have diminished somewhere between now and four years into the future. I’m not entirely sure which comes first, Daniela or the Wedding, but I can assure you I won’t be having a shot gun wedding anytime soon. Therefore, I’ve compiled a To-Do List to prepare for the future event.
Daphne’s Wedding to do list:
1. Encourage Matt to upgrade my cubic zirconium with something in a blue box
2. Pick up Wedding dress (not literarily).
3. Discuss romantic Honeymoon in Botswana
4. Take care of minor details
5. Take Matt home to Kansas and introduce him to the Scarecrow and Mrs. King.
First of all, I am in no way wearing a ring designed by someone who designs clothes off the rack at K-Mart. Nor am I going to sport some lackluster 2-carat cubic zirconium purchased around two am while drunk and watching QVC. I don’t care if the setting is platinum. I want something flawless, something that sparkles, and something that says ‘Hey I dare you to cut off my finger’. Not as if anybody could actually do that, they’d have to run pretty fast to catch up with me. 
Next thing I have to do is pick up the wedding dress. I’ve been looking through a bazillion bridal magazines promising Matt I won’t literary pick one up. Now I’ve got my eye on something and they’re having a sample sale downtown. So I sped down and for the first time in my life I just wasn’t fast enough. This other woman grabbed the dress out of my hands. Not just grabbed she yanked it as if it was life or death. That seriously irritated me, which resulted in me jumping over the table and body slamming her on the ground. We wrestled around on the floor, she pulled some hair but I got her good with my infamous sneaky right hook. The incident resulted in the bridal shop owner separating us and calling the police. I guess having a future husband on the force comes in handy right. At least I got the dress.
I thought it would be romantic for Matt and me to tour Botswana since that is where he went on his spirit walk to find me. I’m not going to lie, I also had a hidden agenda. I wanted to speak to Usutu, find out when the wedding is, how far into the future it is and what came first, Daniela or the wedding. I figured he could whip up something on those rocks of his. Except he kind of lost his head. That’s not metaphorical he actually lost his head. One half was on the other side of his camp and his body was now hosting the largest scorpion I’ve ever seen. I guess that’s one less person I have to invite. 
I’ve got the ring (stolen from tiffany’s – do you think Matt Will notice?), I’ve got the dress (and the bruises to prove it) , and I’ve decided Botswana isn’t the right place for a honeymoon (Usutu’s decapitation ruined the mood). Now I have to think about flowers, the cake, the guest list, where to have the wedding, where to have the reception. This is going to give me a major headache. Now I have to think about who should be in my wedding. This just made me realize that I don’t have any friends. I have co-workers but I don’t have friends. Should I ask Hiro to be in the wedding along with his wife Ando? Should I ask Claire since apparently were best buds in the future? Should the turtle wear a suit and be the ring bearer? What about Molly as the flower girl? Now comes the hard part, I have to bring Matt home to introduce him to The Scarecrow and Mrs. King.
No not them, but the one I made as a kid. It’s kind of a make or break deal with me. If Matt and the scarecrow don’t bond, or he makes fun of it then it’s all over. He can kiss his future wedding good-bye!
Maybe I should scrap the whole wedding and just get married by Elvis down in Vegas.
The turtle should most certianly wear a suit.
Best wishes for your special daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayy!!! 😉
Mrs. A. Petrelli
OMG! I love weddings. So sweet. I totally don’t know who you are, but if we can find a cute dress I’m in.
Daphne honey, don’t even THINK about the Vegas thing. It is entirely within your right to be a bridezilla for this special day, and maybe for every day thereafter as well. And yes, I’d be delighted to come, assuming (rightly) I’m on the guest list.
Claire, darling, I have many cute dresses. You are more than welcome to borrow, as long as your incredibly attractive bio-family comes with. 🙂
Women…