Hey guys, it’s Peter. I must say, I am more depressed than ever. First Simone, then my hair, how could it get any worse? Well, if there’s one thing that helps my depression, it’s deep poetry about pain and heartbreak. So, this poetry thing would be great…except these poems aren’t about pain and heartbreak. I don’t understand, what is the purpose of poetry without those things? Anyways, I guess I have to introduce them regardless.
This first poem is by the anti-Peter, my arch nemesis, the man who is the exact opposite of me. While I am caring, depressed and dark, he is homicidal, bubbly, and has a fashion style that uses pretty colors (not enough black, Sylar). Here is a poem from Sylar, a poem about love and longing, two things that should NOT be written about in poetry:
i dream of gay blonde elves
by the Bad Guy
orlando ur eyes totally pearce my soul
itz almost like u haf my heart in a bowl
a bowl thatz filled w/ ur endless love
2 dream of u is like 2 fly w/ a doveu kin zing ur arrow into my buttocks ne day
it is w/ great luv n lust that i must say
my sexiness is rivaled by only 1 n thats you
ur the 1 elf that i new i must dowhile the other girly men thought of frodo and sam
legolas wuz the 1 who xcited my ham
4 w/ the hobbits i new the gayness wuz clear
but the elf wuz the 1 that i had 2 leermayb 1 day well go on a date
dining on hobbit n dwarf brainz @ 8
4 there iz only 1 thing that = the luv of a bloom
itz eating sum brainz while sewing on my loom
Alright, well that was sickening. This next poem is also lacking proper suffering and metaphors and depth, but there is one good thing about it. It’s written by my MOMMY! She is one of the few lights in my life. I love my Mommy. She’s so neat. Her poem is about her pride in our family name, which is something I’ve never understood, since it’s brought me nothing but darkness. Anyways, you should vote for her just because she’s my Mommy, even if her poem isn’t very poetic. It’s better than that last guy’s anyways. Here it is:
P.E.T.R.E.L.L.I.
by Mommy
P is for the Power that we are soon to get.
E is for Excellence, we are New York’s best bet!
T is for Tenacity from which all good things come.
R is for Results from all the battles we’ve won.
E is for Extraordinary, that’s exactly what we are.
L is for the Legacy, that of course, will go far.
L again for Liberty — for freedom we will fight.
I is for Invincible, the future, with us will be bright!
Orlando Bloom had that effect on everyone, I can relate to your feelings.
I never knew the name Petrelli carried such a heavy meaning! All Sanders means is ‘From the bottle’
Aren’t you the little strumpet that seduced my poor Nathan in Las Vegas? I would think that you would be a little more cautious in commenting on anything involving our family.
Did you just call me a strumpet?
Yes, I did. If you would prefer I could use another word. Harlot, Jezebel, floozy, seducer of men, blackmailer, person with a serious lack of moral fiber.
Was that clear enough for you?
P.S. Stay away from my boy or I might have to break you.
I LIKE YOUR MOM. SHE VER NICE WOMAN LIKE ME. I VOTE FOR NATHAN! HE VER SWEET MAN.
— MAMA SVETLANA
Thank you very much, Mother Svetlana, I’m sure my son will greatly appreciate your vote.
Some people say, “you are what you eat.” Frankly, I don’t see Sylar getting any brainier. He needs the power of a literate person (pick me, pick me).